Impress Me

I always thought that, for the most part, my good friends and I were just some regular guys. Yet more and more I continue to hear stories about guys doing out of pocket things just to get or keep a woman’s attention. So I realized that maybe we’re cut from a different cloth. Perhaps our fathers loved us too much and showed us how to have some pride. Perhaps we don’t take relationship advice from Drake. I’m not sure exactly what the difference is. Whatever the case, I’m different somehow. Maybe I’m just weird. I wouldn’t say I’m a nonconformist, because that would make me sound like a douchebag. But sometimes I just wanna stay away from what everybody else is doing and do my own shit. Go against the grain just to fuck with people because it entertains me. Challenge traditional views, if you will. I do this. Of these traditions, one that needs to be addressed as well as challenged is that of the initial interaction. Dating used to be fun if memory serves me correct. Either you just wanted to be near the person you were with or you were just trying to see if you could get the other person naked as soon as possible. Or is that just me? It dawned on me that women have been getting away with the fact that SOME OF THEM have a pretty face and a nice ass suffice for the fact they too must also measure up to our standards if she wants to keep dating us.

Now I already know what you’re thinking, and what would The ShoeBag be without some random, off the wall, yet totally logical theory? Wanna hear it, here it go. At some point in a woman’s fight for equality, some broad decided it would be best if, instead of equality, women were put on a pedestal because…well women are by nature selfish and narcissistic. That’s not a diss, that’s real shit. And because all men are easily manipulated by all things vaginally related, who’s supposed to stop this pedestallization? It didn’t always used to be like this, and personally I don’t like how this power shift is going.

I understand that because men are hunters by nature, everyone feels the need for us to perform the whole chase, and get her to like us. That’s like killing a brontosaurus and dragging it back to the cave for some big ass steaks. I get it. Now I’m no chauvinist. In fact I would consider myself to be a gentleman by all accounts. Chivalry is aight. But guys have to remember: they outnumber us. Just chill. Put yourself on a pedestal. She should be trying to impress you just as much you are trying to do the same for her. Why roll out the red carpet for by trying to impress her at Che Maurice and whatnot, if she’s not gonna return the favor? If you can’t have those same standards then what are we even doing? I feel like if I live by this rule, one day my life will end up like a rom-com. And who doesn’t want that? In The ShoeBag’s personal opinion, dudes got the game all wrong. Forget trying to impress her from the jump anyway. Impress her to keep her, B! But seriously, makes sure she doesn’t fall off either.

 

Welcome to Che Maurice

I asked a friend of mine what’s a generic thing a man can do to initially impress a woman, and she gave an answer I can dig. She said, “Nothing. Be yourself and hope for the best lol.”

I was hoping for a smiley face. No such luck.

Sad face.