Lust and Love

Impress Me

I always thought that, for the most part, my good friends and I were just some regular guys. Yet more and more I continue to hear stories about guys doing out of pocket things just to get or keep a woman’s attention. So I realized that maybe we’re cut from a different cloth. Perhaps our fathers loved us too much and showed us how to have some pride. Perhaps we don’t take relationship advice from Drake. I’m not sure exactly what the difference is. Whatever the case, I’m different somehow. Maybe I’m just weird. I wouldn’t say I’m a nonconformist, because that would make me sound like a douchebag. But sometimes I just wanna stay away from what everybody else is doing and do my own shit. Go against the grain just to fuck with people because it entertains me. Challenge traditional views, if you will. I do this. Of these traditions, one that needs to be addressed as well as challenged is that of the initial interaction. Dating used to be fun if memory serves me correct. Either you just wanted to be near the person you were with or you were just trying to see if you could get the other person naked as soon as possible. Or is that just me? It dawned on me that women have been getting away with the fact that SOME OF THEM have a pretty face and a nice ass suffice for the fact they too must also measure up to our standards if she wants to keep dating us.

Now I already know what you’re thinking, and what would The ShoeBag be without some random, off the wall, yet totally logical theory? Wanna hear it, here it go. At some point in a woman’s fight for equality, some broad decided it would be best if, instead of equality, women were put on a pedestal because…well women are by nature selfish and narcissistic. That’s not a diss, that’s real shit. And because all men are easily manipulated by all things vaginally related, who’s supposed to stop this pedestallization? It didn’t always used to be like this, and personally I don’t like how this power shift is going.

I understand that because men are hunters by nature, everyone feels the need for us to perform the whole chase, and get her to like us. That’s like killing a brontosaurus and dragging it back to the cave for some big ass steaks. I get it. Now I’m no chauvinist. In fact I would consider myself to be a gentleman by all accounts. Chivalry is aight. But guys have to remember: they outnumber us. Just chill. Put yourself on a pedestal. She should be trying to impress you just as much you are trying to do the same for her. Why roll out the red carpet for by trying to impress her at Che Maurice and whatnot, if she’s not gonna return the favor? If you can’t have those same standards then what are we even doing? I feel like if I live by this rule, one day my life will end up like a rom-com. And who doesn’t want that? In The ShoeBag’s personal opinion, dudes got the game all wrong. Forget trying to impress her from the jump anyway. Impress her to keep her, B! But seriously, makes sure she doesn’t fall off either.


fancy fine dining

Welcome to Che Maurice

I asked a friend of mine what’s a generic thing a man can do to initially impress a woman, and she gave an answer I can dig. She said, “Nothing. Be yourself and hope for the best lol.”

I was hoping for a smiley face. No such luck.

Sad face.


13 thoughts on “Impress Me

  1. Very intersting…what I can speak on, is that as a woman, I completely disagree with the statement “women are by nature selffish and narcissistic”. That is so far from the truth. It is our nature to be giving. Our very make-up is to give. Most (MOST) women aren’t popping out babies for entertainment! A mother worth her salt is the most giving of all. There is a reason we’re are able to bare children (aside from anatomy LOL) which commands patience, compassion, and most of all GIVING! We literally allow another human being to take residence in our bodies…what could be more giving? Maybe you’ve never had your internal organs kicked or shifted, or maybe you’ve never seen your belly stretched the size of a watermelon (to include all the veins & stretch marks that are left behind), experienced wetting yourself when the baby kicks your blatter, watched your feet, face, butt, and er’thing else grow to ungodly proportions, to truly understand…I don’t know, IJS. I was raised to learn to SERVE the men that I am in a relationship with, but more importantly to be wise in who I decide to be with & make sure he has earned my time, affection, love, etc. A GOOD woman (good being the operative word) is a giver, but also has enough wisdom to know that she should & deserves to equally receive. Anybody can be selffish…it’s not gender specific.

    On another note, in nature the male species are made bigger, brighter, stronger, more colorful, and what have you simply to attract a female. Male pigeons dance and fluff their feathers (it’s quite entertaining, I’ve watched this mating ritual), Male peacocks strut, Gorilla’s pound on their chest and wrestle, it goes on and on…Darwin wasn’t completely off about his theory in natural selection, specifically sexual selection…I don’t want the lion with the mangy mane, and an emaciated physique guarding my pride…IJS, but TO EACH HIS OWN


    But I am curious to know…if you have or hypothetically had a daughter, what would you teach her (in words and deeds) about how a man should treat her…I’m just curious

    • Very good point. It goes across species. Males typically do what is necessary to grab the attention of the female, i.e. peacocks, etc. However, human males used to do that and now in some warped world think it is they who are the prize DESPITE the fact that women give them the true GIFT of giving them an offspring that can carry on their name and/or legacy.

  2. Smh. What woman hurt you? Lol This blog is ridiculous. If you sincerely think all women are selfish, narcissitic and just in general takers, or if you really in your heart believe women should be impressing you instead of you both just being yourselves and seeing if you by nature just click then do women a favor and date men. However, i respect your opinion just…..interesting. 😉

  3. Its really hard treating ladies like ladies these days because we don’t know their intentions. I’ve heard women going out with guys just to get a meal. Those girls make it bad for the girls who genuinely want to date. Dudes who feel they being ran game on don’t treat a women how he would normally.

    As far as when thinking their ‘prize possession’ is the man’s weakness…wrong. “Cuz ain’t nothing better than p**** but new p****!” What makes you a prize is being thoughtful to your dude. Hitting him with the unexpected gifts (not just physically gifts). That’s our weakness. A woman who can be selfless and thoughtful give at moments notice is a winner.

    I can’t speak for every guy, but if you think by giving me sex will keep me there….wrong. Can get that ‘prize possession’ pretty easy. Thanks to hoes, regular women have to work harder. Be mad at them, lol.

    • You are correct in that the problem with men is that they do tend to let past “bad apples” affect how they treat all women thereafter. If you mix that with the growing fact that men now believe women need to work under UNREALISTIC terms to earn their affection and you get women who either:

      1) say forget it because they recognize that they are being treated unfairly and are being asked to jump through some IMAGINARY hoops he’s created for her.All in the name of proving she’s got no “alterior motive”. (To men, these women are the ones who just weren’t worth it and were using him anyway…not true)


      2) Take on the challenge of “helping” him overcome his hesitations and doubts of her sincerity and STILL get categorized as just a whatever.

      P***y is P***y is a man’s mantra. Not a woman’s. No self respecting woman is going to continue to lavish a man with little “just because” gifts when she is getting no real emotional affection back.

      Men vs. Women…..There is no win in how we view things.

      • Just because gifts is not necessarily what I was saying..I’m thinking more of being thoughtful. Putting yourself (pride) to the side and do something nice for a guy. Thats all I was saying.

  4. Not hurt, but I didn’t say that for it have a negative connotation. Just by definition of the words, I’d say, yeah its true. It’s another random, off the wall, yet logical theory of mine that this is the reason why women are by nature more caught up in their emotions. Its why yall refer to weddings as “my day”. Its why when a man forgets valentine’s day, a lot of yall go ape shit. Now I’m admittedly a selfish person so I’m not tryna throw rocks at your glass house. Just saying.

  5. Also, by making the assertion that a woman’s “P” is no “prized possession” nor a man’s “weakness” must not be true. Saying “p****y is p***y and then saying that the only thing better than “p***y is new p****y” just proves that the “Power of the P” is quite strong. The only thing better than it is more and newer versions of “it”? Hmm…sounds pretty powerful and may indeed be a man’s weakness.

    However, I do agree being thoughtful is indeed very important. But there is a limit. A woman can only do so much before it can feel unappreciated. We feel the same as y’all men do. Ex. I used to give my free Rockets tickets to a guy I liked, not because I was trying to snag him but bc I knew he was a genuine fan. However, after realizing it wasn’t appreciated nor didn’t really get counted as “being thoughtful” I stopped. Everyone men and women have limits. Things should never be one sided in matters of dating. If everyone was a little thoughtful their would be less hurt folks.

  6. Pingback: If You Love Them…Let Them Go! « From Ashy to Classy

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