I’m really trying to understand why I am still single. I just turned 27 this weekend. I am in the best shape of my life. I have a very successful and blossoming career making six figures and I don’t have any baggage; no kids, no obsessive ex-boyfriend, no daddy issues…heck technically, I’ve never really a true sexual intercourse experience. I attend church regularly, but I’m not a bible thumper. I love to cook, play and watch sports, play video games and I listen to all kinds of music. I don’t get it, and I’m tired of that same old, “Maybe you just intimidate men.” I’m starting to get frustrated and I’m not sure what to do. I want a real relationship; a marriage; kids one day and I feel like time is escaping me. Can you provide any suggestions?
Miss Right…right now, right away, right when you need me…uuggh!
Dear Miss Right,
WOW! You sound like a really attractive woman on paper. I’m sure there are people who are reading this, most of whom probably can’t even begin to identify with you because you sound perfect, are saying to themselves, “I know why this girl can’t find someone…she’s ugly.” However, I wonder if the issue is not what you look like, what you have accomplished, or what you are interested in; it may just be that it’s not your time.
See the remarkable thing about relationships is that they are one of the ultimate signs of free will choice. The reality is, you COULD be in a relationship right now. However, you have CHOSEN, maybe, to not allow what you want, to compromise what you believe you deserve. With all of the internet dating sites, not to mention your conventional pickup lines and “girl I got the perfect guy” match making friends, you have a very large pool to choose from when it comes to be in a relationship. In spite of all of this access, you have chosen to control your desire to be in a relationship so that you don’t end up in one that could result in unnecessary baggage, heartache, and unfulfilled disappointment.
My suggestion to you would be to continue living your life. Don’t shy away from the activities and things in life that bring you joy. Don’t stop entertaining your friends who like to play Cupid, and if social hookup websites intrigue you, there is nothing wrong with looking into setting up an account and seeing what happens. You sound like you have a lot to offer and because of that there is no need for you to feel like you are settling. Enjoy this time of being single, but always be aware of the endless possibilities to exercise CHOICE when dealing with individuals you find yourself attracted to or who approach you out of there attraction towards you. Everything will happen in its own time and with its own purpose. Hope this helps!