Back in gap I was an ass-hat when it came to dealing with ladies. Not all the time and not with every situation, but I had the ability to be a full on jerk! But the one thing I could always fall back on was that, for the most part, I told the truth. I was upfront about what I wanted and the parameters of the relationship. I was known to be honest to a fault at times. I did this because I knew that I was wrong but I needed an escape clause, a way out when the girl started catching feelings. Or an excuse for when she found out I was hollering at her line sister.
Most of the time this Honesty Policy worked. As long as I played my position everything was cool. If I told a young tender that it was strictly a physical thing, that’s how I kept it. No dinner, no movie, no hanging out….NOTHING BUT THAT BACKSTROKE!! Cause I knew the moment I invited her over for a movie and we actually watched a movie (don’t front like “watching a movie” wasn’t code for let’s get it in) it would break the time space continuum and my escape clause would vanish into thin air,all because of a bootleg movie and some damn gummy bears!
I learned the hard way that words only mean something when they match up with your actions. When your words and actions don’t match, you suffer from a case of blurred lines and that leads to ish being up for interpretation and that my friends leads to drama. Don’t invite drama in your life, stay away from blurred lines. Especially in relationships. You can’t tell you are only interested in smashing and then hold hands in public! That ish don’t work!! Let me tell you a quick story, cue blurry flashback lines
There was a girl that I wanted to smash like a Idaho potato, nothing more nothing less. I had spoken to her a few times before and knew that she was not what I was looking for in a real relationship. I approached her on some, “I just need one good time” type stuff and let her know it was strictly physical. She got mad, said she didn’t get down like that, but later got my number from a friend and text me one night asking, “what’s up”. I don’t need to go into details cause most of us have seen how this scenario goes down. It was perfect until one night invited me to come over early to eat before our “aerobic exercise”. When I got there she was in the kitchen COOKING, she was putting her pinky toe in it. Smothered pork chops, scratch mashed potatoes, green beans (from a can, but they was good tho’) and a glass of Hen with two ice cubes. I knew I should’ve left but it smelled good and I was hungry, so I ate. It was all downhill from there. She started cooking on the regular and I started making request. My words stopped matching my actions and the lines were blurred and the drama came. Once I realized she was auditioning for more than just bumping uglies, I should have nipped it in the bud. But, because I was saying the right things I thought I was ok.
Until she saw me at a party hollering at another girl. Then the questions and accusations started. I was blindsided but not really tho’. I knew I had blurred the lines and invited drama into this situation. Needless to say, it didn’t end well.
I my Kelly Rowland on as a cautionary tale. A warning to you all out there still in the game blurring the lines. Know that when your words and actions don’t match, someone always gets hurt. I know it’s seems easier to run the no huddle and keep going until something comes up, but it’s better to call a timeout when you notice the situation has changed and you might need to have a little chit chat to make sure everyone is on the same page.
Fellas, know there are very few women that can smash and not catch feelings. Hell, I have theory that most women willing to sleep with you are is willing to seriously consider taking your last name.
Ladies, know that you can’t throw your nookie in the air and say let there be light. And even if you could it’s not enough to make a man love you.
Everybody, I realize casual sexual relationships are not new and are becoming more and more common. But keep it 100!! Make sure your actions match your words and avoid the drama.
We are all auditioning, just recognize the role you are up for.
What do you think? Is it ok to say you only want a physical relationship and then share popcorn at the drive-in? What is more important, actions or words?