In case you’re not familiar with #BlackTwitter, know that if you misspell a word or use improper grammar, the people you thought were your friends will retweet your mistake to make you look like an idiot. And THEN…then their followers get in on the action and start throwing unbelievable amounts of shade. For uppity niggas such as myself, having our intelligence questioned is about as big an insult that can be received. That doesn’t mean that some of the victims of this twitter assault don’t deserve all of the slander they receive. No bullshit, I saw someone (through the malicious use of retweeting) respond to someone by saying, “That’s not proper educate” meaning to say “proper etiquette”. And yeah, I know autocorrect/touchscreens messes everyone’s messages up, except mine because I still love my negroberry and all of its qwerty keyboard goodness, but this wasn’t one of those times. I’m certain of it.
So back to my Black Twitter diaries….
True Story: A couple of weeks ago, a young lady who, by all means, had a fat ass and was pretty cute posted picture of herself to the Twitterverse. Yet, there were a few women that I follow that couldn’t help but point out the grainy details of said picture; like how she had a twin, possibly bunk bed, no bedroom furniture, and, what I’m still not sure, but was either a small hole or a big insect on the wall. Trashy to say the least. The girl was struggling in the Ikea department. And for the life of all of these women that I follow, they could not comprehend how all the men who commented on the picture could look past all of these flaws and the potentially shambled life of this girl, and only focus on the fat ass and the cute face. Ladies, ladies, ladies. Let me tell you something about men. We notice shit. We know this shit. And as many times as I’m sure all of you have heard it, I’ll say it again. And despite the not so flattering details of a woman’s life, most dudes aren’t gonna pass on a piece of at least semi good looking ass. Nobody do that where we grew at, nigga. DUH!
Let me let y’all in a little secret. No matter how good a woman looks or how bad a woman looks; bad meaning bad in this case, or how clean her apartment is or what kinda car she drives or what she does for a living, a man looks at a woman in one of two ways. And I know that’s a broad generalization (that’s a play on words in case you missed it) to say that all women can only be this or that, but it’s true. It’s not a diss either, it’s just the mentality of men. Spare me with how much of a misogynist you think I am for the moment. Enlightenment cometh in the morning. See, a dude will meet a woman, and he’ll peep her style, see where her head is, and try to get a vibe of…her vibe. I assume women do something similar in regards to men as well. Then, we’ll have a conversation with one of our guy friends similar to the following:
Dude 1: What’s up with you and the girl you met at the party? She was pretty cute
Dude 2: She cool (blank stare + shrug)
Dude 1: That’s what’s up. You gonna try to holla?
Dude 2: I don’t know. I was talking to her and she’s got issues. She might be a little off.
Dude 1: Word. I know you don’t wanna get caught up with another crazy chick…so that’s that then?
Dude 2: We’ll see. I mean, I’ll still fcuk her. I just can’t fcuk with her
I hope everyone caught what just happened right there. Because that scenario alone serves as an explanation to every woman on my Twitter timeline who couldn’t understand why guys will look past a massive amount of red flags in a woman. We’ll fcuk mostly anything that was born a woman (with contraception I’m hoping), but those of us who are the smart ones don’t just fcuk WITH anybody. The reasons why or why mot are determined on a case by case basis. It could be based on her level of attractiveness, her sanity, her attitude, personality, or her general aint-shitability. Those aren’t questions that I can answer for every man in the world. But I do feel confident in saying to every woman, that from the moment a man lays eyes on you, he knows whether or not he would fcuk you. He probably will. It’s something else that needs to be brought to or excluded from the table that will determine if he’ll fcuk with you. Big difference.
Do you understand the difference between fcuking someone and fcuking WITH someone? Is there a difference?