Happy Black History Month! *Raises fist*
This is the month where we share uplifting stories of our past to remind us how far we have come. But how far have we really come? How many times have you seen a video of black folks participating in some of the most ridiculous and ratchet things? How many times have you seen a TV show that exploits the most ignorant black person you’ve ever seen? And once you witness the hot mess, how many times have you uttered the words:
“This just brought black folks back another hundred years…”
We can all agree that collectively, these moments, issues, or people have pulled us back into the dark ages. But which moment reigns supreme among the rest? Thanks to my love of sports, I’ve decided to pit each event/person against one another in a playoff format. I’ve split everything up into 4 divisions: People, Fights, Twerking, and Random Rachetness. I will post the first round match-ups below and I need your help to tell me which one should move forward.
If you’re not familiar with any of the events or people, click on the names and it’ll forward over to the video. I could have embedded each video, but then you’d be scrolling forever to get the comments section and I just didn’t want ya’ll to do that.
Bus Driver Uppercut vs PV Right Hook
Artis Hugues, Cleveland-Area RTA bus driver, got fed up with a 25-year old passenger and what she had to say. The passenger spits on the driver and hits him, which results in one of the greatest uppercuts you’ll ever see.
A fight breaks out at Prairie View A & M University between two students leaving one of the students laid out something serious after receiving a vicious right hook. The video went viral immediately which spawned a song by Houston rap artist, Beatking.
Tashay Edwards Twitter Beef vs East Oakland Denny’s Brawl
Tashay Edwards had a little twitter beef with a former friend and when things heated up, Tashay decided to confront the other woman on her doorstep. I’m still uncertain what the beef was over, but it ended up with Tashay laying the smack down something serious. The video leaked out and hit over a million views in less than 24 hours.
A fight between two cliques escalates to a brawl that rivals something you would see out of a western movie. Chairs flying and plates being broken, all while wearing girly costumes.
Twerk Team vs Wally World
Made up of two ladies by the names of Ladi Lucious and Miss Twerksum. They set the interwebs ablaze with their series, #TwerkTeamThursdays, where they showcase their ASSets in various ways to best stripclub music money can buy. They’ve become so popular, that young girls nationwide have created their own twerk teams and upload videos hoping to compete.
A New Orleans rapper by the name of Mr. Ghetto released a video to his popular song, Wally World, on Youtube that show various scenes of two girls twerking around Wal-Mart. In the parking lot, in buggies, in the aisles, on a car, and every other possible facet of Wal-Mart you can think of. Do I need to mention I don’t think he had a permit to shoot the video? Meaning, he literally just rolled up to a random Wal-Mart with two fat booty women and a camera and said…ACTION!
Son Rapping with Mom Twerking vs Woman Showing a Baby how to Twerk
An East St. Louis Mother lets her son (looks to be 6 or 7) rap about “Donks” while she twerks in the background while trying to keep her breasts from spilling out. I also would like to mention, there’s a little girl walking around in the video while all this coonery takes place. Damn shame.
Two girls show a little baby in diapers (yes, IN DIAPERS) how to twerk. I’m just wondering when she’ll get her official “Future Strippers of America” card in the mail.
Stevie J vs Chief Keef
Stevie J is a music producer that that produced many hit songs in the 90s. He was involved in a high-profile relationship with Eve in the late 90s and early 2000s. A few years later, a sex tape was released exposing both in an intimate act. More recently, Stevie J starred in “Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta” where he made some extremely questionable decision regarding his love triangle with Mimi and and Joseline. Personally, I’ve only watched a total of 3 minutes of the show and I thought my eyes were bleed…
17-year old Chicago rapper was made famous by his hit, “I Don’t Like.” Kanye West heard the track, and couldn’t wait to release the remix. Thanks to the buzz of his ignorant chants, Interscope Records signed Chief to a multi-million dollar deal. So what does that tell our youth? Hmmm… Now THAT’S that ish I don’t like…
Waka Flocka Flame vs Soulja Boy
No need for an explanation here…just watch the vid. Trust me.
Yet another “hardcore” rapper from the south. He’s made hip-hop headlines over the years for the most ignorant of stuff, but none greater than this line right here: “Oh wait! Hold up! Shout out to the slave masters! Without them we’d still be in Africa. We wouldn’t be here to get this ice and tattoos.
RANDOM RATCHETNESS DIVISION
Parent Lets Toddler Smoke Weed vs “Leprecahaun In The Hood”
Pretty cut and dry here. The video shows a woman holder her daughter in her lap while smoking a blunt then proceeds to allow the toddler to get a puff in as well. *Long sigh*
An oldie but goodie. This is a news segment about reports of a leprechaun being spotted in an urban neighborhood in Mobile, Alabama. Interviews include a man with gold teeth, a woman suggesting it to be a crackhead, and a man who claims he has a “leprechaun flute” to help him against the leprechaun should he have an encounter.
Catchin’ “Amonia” for Js With the “Get Money Boyz” vs Man with 30 Kids by 11 Different Women
Every year in December, you can count on two things happening. Jordan Brand will release a Jordan 11 and black folks will go absolutely bat-shit crazy for them. I actually made the mistake of trying to wait in line this year to grab a ticket for one, but due to an unruly and hood crowd, that was cut short. Someone pulled out a gun and we all scattered like roaches.
1 Man. 11 Mothers. 30 kids. …and he’s only 33 years-old. Wow.
Remember to leave your votes in the comments below.
As always folks, stay classy…