Lust and Love / You Need Jesus

The Adam Theory

Relationships are wonderfully crazy things.  They can be Platonic or romantic, for a season or for a lifetime, symbiotic or parasitic!  Relationships are like people, unpredictable and ever evolving.  Relationships are also the basis of human interaction, man was not intended to live alone, and that’s why God created Eve.  People a social, even introverts need to kick it every now and again.  Solitary confinement is one of the harshest punishments in the prison system.  I mean you already in jail, then they put you in a 6×9 box with nothing but you and a toilet!!! Relationships are critical to our success professionally, socially, and more importantly spiritually.   The good thing is that most our most important relationships form naturally and we end up with a best friend we’ve known for 50 leven years.  However, our optional relationships are important as well as they tend to be the ones that require more investment of time and effort. That’s why it’s important to have a few things in place before you intentionally begin new relationships.  Now for the purpose of this blog, I’ll be focusing on romantic relationships, but this theory really can be universally applied to all relationships. Without further ado, I present… The Adam Theory, legggo!!

God knew the game before it was game!! He knew Adam was going to go bonkers without a little company.  Nothing happens by coincidence, especially in Bible.  God set Adam up for success, though he eventually took a pretty big L, and set the precedent for productive relationships on the future.  Adam had a foundation that told him who he was, gave him purpose, and gave him responsibility.  Before we enter into romantic relationships, we should have a similar foundation. Because relationships have such a tremendous effect on our lives, they shape how we see the world and how the world sees us, we should do our best to set ourselves up for success.  One way to do that is to follow the pattern God has already set for us.

Before God introduced Eve to the mix, Adam had his game right.  He had some stuff going on before Eve that would help him with Eve when she got there.  Before we enter into relationships, we should have these two things in our corner.

1.  Adam was already in communion with God –   before any romantic relationship, we should be in a relationship with God.  Adam and God used to kick and chop it up all the time.  We should be firm in our salvation and in a consistent communion with God.  So many times we get into and out of relationships while we are finding ourselves. Relationships are not where we find ourselves, it’s where we are exposed.  Having a relationship with God before you are in a relationship prevents us from being defined by our relationships.  You don’t have to Joel Olsteen or Joyce Myers, just be confident in who you are in your faith.

2.  Adam had a life – you ever met someone that only talks about their boo-thang.  I mean every story somehow relates to their man.  Every time they go out, they gal is attached to their hip.  Those folks didn’t have a life before the relationship.  It’s easy to get lost in a relationship; you have all the emotions and love (or lust).  You spend so much time together, talk on the phone until 2 am and play the hang up first game.  You all understand each other soo much it’s scary.  Stop it!  Before you are in a romance, have something else in your life that is important.  Have a job you enjoy, friends that cut for you, maybe even work in a ministry.  Adam was naming animals and tending to the garden before EVE.  He had responsibilities that aligned with his purpose. Anchors that tie us to the world outside of our romances keeps us balanced and gives us perspective.

I can’t stress how important it is for you to have these two notches on your belt before you start a romantic relationship.  Having a communion with God and a life that anchors you to the world outside your romance provides the framework for a healthy and productive relationship.  Follow the pattern that God laid out before Adam and watch Him work.  Now I know someone is thinking, “Chris, did you forget Adam and Eve introduced SIN into the world?!”  Nah I ain’t forget, but  their sin doesn’t mean God’s plan was flawed.  Like everything else, we have to work the plan, but first you need a plan.  The Adam Theory gives you clear markers to signal when you may be ready for a romantic relationship.  Remember a theory is just that until it’s put into practice.


2 thoughts on “The Adam Theory

  1. “Relationships are not where we find ourselves, it’s where we are exposed.”

    That is hands down one of the most honest and best comments i have seen in a while.I love it! That line alone speaks volumes about the problems and success of relationships.

    Many people realize who they REALLY are (morally, etc.) when dating or in a relationship and sometimes they just don’t like it and/or sometimes they LOVE it. Instead of acknowledging that exposed image as their own deep-rooted self, they blame or give credit to the other party in the relationship for making their true self come out. This causes people to break up with others or if on the receiving end, damn near die when the other leaves them.

    How many times have we heard “I can’t live without them. They make me a better person.” No, you were already a good person but this person made you finally SEE your good. Or the opposite, “They make me act worse than who I really am.” No, it is in you to act that way, this person just helped you SEE that potential trait in you. Like they say, some people bring out your good, some bring out your bad but both good and bad are ALWAYS present in you regardless of if that person is there or not. 🙂

  2. Yes Sir! This is right down the middle. I love the stages shown an particularly the line, “Relationships are not where we find ourselves, it’s where we are exposed.” Many relationships struggle because both individuals are depending on someone to help them discover themselves. Too many relationships are entered in like a science experiment with a hypothesis! People mix together different chemicals (personalities, character, spirituality and these days politics) and hope they find the perfect mix before they blow up the chem lab!

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