This past weekend, I was able to hang out with two great friends of mine. While feeding our carnivorous pallets (and black stereotypes) with delicious wings from B-Dubs, (Buffalo Wild Wings) we discussed the future of one of our relationships. I asked my boy, “Do you think she’s the one?” He immediately replied without hesitation, “She’s the one.” I’m extremely happy for my boy and I think it’s a beautiful thing whenever a man can admit to his friends that he’s met his soulmate and he’s made the conscience decision to spend the rest of his life with her.
Okay, now that all that sentimental stuff is out of the way, I want to dive into today’s topic. Obviously that conversation inspired today’s blog, but it’s not the idea of holy matrimony that I want to discuss. I want to discuss the idea of the engagement ring…from a (Married) man’s point of view.
While we were continuing our conversation that night about what kind of ring his future fiance’ wants to wear, we asked our waitress what she felt about the cost of an engagement ring. Before answering, she slaps her hand on the table to show us her 3-carat diamond wedding ring. She explains that a man should very well spend a few thousand dollars on an engagement ring. When asked why, she says “You don’t want your fiance’ showing off a tiny rock to her friends.” Now I like to think I’m a guy that respects traditions, within reason of course, but I can’t agree with the notion that a man is supposed to spend three months’ salary on the engagement ring. If I’m not mistaken, three months salary for a ring symbolizes that love lasts forever. You’re not supposed to upgrade, because the man has already invested a quarter of his yearly earnings on the ring.
So ladies, can you explain why this is tradition? Or do you just blindly follow without fully understanding the concept because it equates to you wearing a pretty rock on your finger so you can make your friends envious? I did a little research and I found an interest fact behind the history of this so-called, “salary requirement” for engagement rings. Ready to have you bubble popped? Well, In 1919, the jewelry company, De Beers, experienced a drop in diamond sales that lasted for two decades. So in the 1930s it turned to the firm N.W. Ayer to devise a national advertising campaign to promote its diamonds. They claimed that a man should spend the equivalent of one month’s income in the engagement ring; later they claimed that he should spend two months’ income on it. Somewhere later down the line, the cost moved up to three months. You see that ladies? You’ve been brainwashed by a clever Marketing campaign. Damn shame. So much for “tradition.”
Being that I’m a happily married man of 6 and a half years, I feel that women should stop placing so much importance on the cost of the ring and just embrace the symbolic meaning. At the end of the day, the ring symbolizes your future union as man and wife. Who cares if he didn’t spend thousands of dollars on it. Why not save money on the rings and go on a lavish honeymoon instead? Or maybe put it as a down payment on a house? Hell, even stash it away in savings. No matter the reason, I feel the extra money can be better spent elsewhere.
Since we’re on the topic of engagement rings, Ladies, if you break off the engagement, give the ring back. Regardless of what you can prove in court as a “gift,” the ring symbolizes your engagement to be married. If the engagement is off, then the ring doesn’t mean anything and should be given back to the former fiance’. Keeping the ring only shows how shallow and materialistic you are. And odds are, you’ll probably never get married for the right reasons. If you do happen to get married after pulling a stunt like that, you’ll probably end up alone and penniless.
I hope you enjoyed today’s blog. I really want a lot of feedback from my lady readers on this one. Leave the comments below and let’s get this debate started.
As always, stay classy.