Lust and Love

Almost Doesn’t Count

I had a conversation with the boyfriend the other day in which he jokingly accused me of accusing him of being a man-whore.  To which I countered, “why is ‘whore’ automatically a woman?  Why do you have to add the man in front?”  He shrugged.  And then I called him a whore-whore.  To make sure I was being an equal opportunity name caller.

And although we’ve been together a long time, we have never broached the subject of the amount of past partners.  Honestly, I do not want to know.  And if you asked me, I couldn’t even give you a specific number that would actually make him a whore.  Or “ho” if you will.  5? 25? 100? (yes).  Maybe ho isn’t the right term anyway because I’m not sure if the exchange of money for services actually is considered when we throw around the word.  Floozy? Maybe that would be more appropriate.

Either way, I don’t think that the matter should be discussed.  Ever.  And the thing is, I think it’s common for women to bring it up once they are in a serious relationship with a guy.  Maybe they want to know the guy has some experience (more than 1) but isn’t a floozy (more than X).   And there might even be some guys that are concerned and asked but I can pretty much guarantee they won’t get the correct answer.

See, women *know* how many men they have been with.  But if it’s been more than one, odds are someone doesn’t make the list because “it doesn’t count”.  Did you know that guys?  There is a way you can be erased from a girls list of sexual conquest because they have decided that on some level or another you just plain and simple do not count.
Shocked?  Amazed?  Don’t be.  Here’s just an example of things you could do to NOT make the roster:

·         No orgasm (by either party)

·         It only happened once

·         It was in college

·         It was in <insert a different city other than the one she lives in>

·         It was too small

·         It was bad

·         It kept slipping out

·         It wouldn’t go in

·         She didn’t really even like him that much in the first place

·         Duration was too short

·         She forgot about him and then one of her friends reminded her, but it’s too late cause he’s not on the list after that

See how easy it is to knock a list down to just a few guys? And these were ideas from modest women.  Imagine what the easy girls would say!

Have you ever discussed the number of sexual partners your mate has had?  Do you think they told the truth?  Do you regret asking or did it make you closer?  Men, do you believe women if you have asked?  Women have you ever been asked and lied?  Let me know (without giving any actual numbers!)


10 thoughts on “Almost Doesn’t Count

  1. When I got out of college and I was sought as a little bit attractive the man-whore, or whore-whore or floozy came out. I can never…ever…ever be mad at how many people my partner has been with. Like Patti LaBelle said..”If Only You Knew.” I always avoid that conversation with my mate. Plus we always talked before we got together about past and experiences. Whatever happen before me was just that before me, can’t be mad at that.

  2. Doesn’t surprise me at all. I read an article that stated the average black male has 38 sexual partners in their lifetime and black women have 10. (Trojan Condoms survey) And according to the Kinsey Institute, 26% of men have more than 15 partners vs only 9% of women. So either there’s a small pool of women doing their due diligence of banging everybody, or these women are doctoring up some documents.

    • Even women on the smaller scale can discount a dude, so I’m sure it’s not just the floozies dialing down their numbers. And who is doing these surveys? I’ve never met anyone surveyed about anything.

      • I’ve never taken or been asked to take a sexual survey either, but I’ve heard of the Kinsey Institute before so those numbers are more believable than the Trojan survey. Sounds like a rep from Trojan went to a bar and interviewed about 5 people.

  3. I agree with Bre. We don’t need to discuss how many people we have each been with once we become “serious”. I’m not a virgin. You aren’t a virgin. The End. I don’t want to know that he might have been a whore-whore before we met.

  4. Ha! Great blog. I’ve never been one to divulge the sum of my conquests to a lady friend. I agree that it doesn’t really need to be discussed because neither party knows what a suitable number is…

    What I did not know is how easily I could not be counted on a lady’s list…aint that a bitch, literally! Guess it don’t matter, I don’t count only oral sex occasions so nanny nanny boo boo!

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