Random, Just Read It! / Social Experiments

5 Things to Make Sure Your 4th Goes Down Proper


I really like the 4th of July.  It’s one of those holidays that bring back great memories.  It’s also the one I associate the most with summer.  I remember popping firecrackers back in the day, my moms always yelling about loosing a finger or something.  Know I love watching my kids get excited and scared watching the fireworks.  The 4th was always proper.  Here are a few ways to make sure you can enjoy your 4th as much as I do.

1.  Please start cooking early!! Like before 5pm.   I hate it when cats invite you to the crib for a bbq and you pull up at 2pm ready to eat.  You hop out the ride and notice there is no smoke coming from the backyard.  That’s a gosh darn problem homie!  Don’t be that person.  If you are hosting the BBQ tomorrow or this weekend, get your ish together and start quing at a decent time.  I don’t want to have to wait til 9pm to get a rib. True story, I went to a  family members BBQ, out-of-town, and ol’ duddy didn’t light one coal til 7pm.  The invitation said, “BBQ 2pm – 10pm”.  Don’t put your life in danger like he did, start cooking on time people.

2.  Don’t show up anywhere empty-handed!  Bringing foil for your to-go plate doesn’t count!!  Bring something, especially if you are a picky eater.  Bring the type of food you like to eat and be gracious enough to let the host know in advance.  It’s a good habit to always bring something to the party besides your appetite.  A bottle of wine, some yac, a pack of hot dogs to feed your pack of heathen children.  If you plan on hopping from house to house, have a little something for every house you stop at.  I promise, when you walk in with a gift you automatically go on the top of my list.  You might even get the big piece of chicken.

 

3.  Don’t Randomly Popp Off in the Streets – make sure you know and understand the fireworks ordinances in your area.  I know this seems like a common sense thing, but it’s a big deal depending on where you live.  In the certain states, where there has been serious drought, there is a ban on personal fireworks.  Some cities don’t allow fireworks in the city limits.  I remember having to drive to Indiana to buy the good fireworks cause you couldn’t buy them in the GO.  If you are visiting and plan on bringing fireworks ask the host if that’s ok and then double-check the ordinances yourself.   You can be arrested for popping fireworks in the wrong the place, but more likely, you will get a fine like a ticket on the dash.

 

4a.  Keep the Beef on the Grill – it always amazes me how people manage to start ruckus on holidays.  Man its my day off and if you act a fool on my property, I will introduce the laws to your life.  Don’t try to holla at that fine girl that you saw come in with her HUSBAND!  Don’t take a rib off grandama’s plate and not expect her to run you over with her easy scooter.   

4b. Have a Playlist Set – you always have one cat that wants to come in and be DJ Jazzy Jeff.  Man take five seats.  If you ain’t @Hawaii5_0_ keep it moving.  One way to stop this is to have a playlist ready.  Sites like grooveshark allow you handpick artist and songs to play and the order in which they are played, take that Pandora.  And your playlist ain’t ish if it don’t have frankie beverly and maze, The Elements, Fresh Prince Summertime, and Pistol Grip Pump.

5.  Don’t drink and drive.  I know it’s popular to swerve but that dance looks stupid, s/o to Big Sean.  And so is drinking and driving.  That’s that ish I don’t like.  You drinking and driving makes Chief Keef look like Dr. Ben Carson.  I understand it’s a celebration, just celebrate responsibility and not selfishly put others lives in danger.  Besides, you don’t want you sobriety test to be a YouTube sensation like this Mr. Turner:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkxPIy39s8E

 

Any other tips for tomorrow?  Anybody in the H Quing, I need a place to crash!  Celebrate responsibly.

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