Yesterday was Father’s Day. So belated Father’s Day to anyone I’m not friends with on Facebook and was not included in my broad and vague cover-all Facebook status. I did see the flood of “happy father’s day to the real father’s” tweets and a few Facebook posts for single mom’s holding it down.
What does any of that have to do with Father’s Day? Nothing. The qualifiers that are put on this holiday put a total damper on the mood. The statistics about how much less people spend on father’s day instead of mother’s day. The definitions of what makes a father. All of this negativity seems to outshine those who choose to honor fathers and whatever good they impart on their children’s lives.
Issue 1: The single mother.
Yes there a lots of single mothers that raise children. Some of us were probably raised by a single mother. I’m sure they all did the best that they could with what they had. For whatever reason the mom and dad couldn’t get their shit together and have a cohesive family unit. Kids are resilient. They are more than likely okay with the situation. But a mother is a mother. And that has nothing to do with Father’s Day. I am a woman. I am a mother. If I had a son, there is no way I could teach him how to pee standing up. For that reason alone I think we should let the dad’s have their day.
Issue 2: Your dad sucks.
Welcome to the club. Having daddy issues does not make you special. In fact, it makes you pretty regular. Your dad drank a lot and gambled all your family’s money away? Ok. Don’t call him on Father’s Day. Did your dad not come to your baseball games and spelling bees or whatever? I would be kinda mad at that too. But you can’t find not a one guy that you would want to wish a happy day to? Barack Obama don’t make you a little teary like “yeah there are some good fathers out there. Maybe I should just give a nice general statement .” Good. Do that and move on. He left your mom and you too? Sorry to hear that. Maybe he’s just an awful person, maybe your parents should have picked better mates, maybe you just got dealt a crap hand of life. Don’t use Father’s Day as a sounding board to air all your grievances.
Issue 3. What is “real”.
I generally have an issue with people using the adjective “real” in front of a noun. (Except for when I question if things are real life). Women use this term A LOT. “Real women have curves”. “Real moms have dirty houses.” “This hair is real since I paid for it”. And unless something was completely manufactured in a lab, I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that it’s real. I can be thin and be a “real woman”. I can keep my shit together and be a “real mother”. But I digress. Around the middle of June people start to shout out to the “real dads” out there. As if an absent father just somehow is not a father anymore. I’m pretty sure they know somewhere down in their core that they probably totally screwed their kid up. Or if I were a step-father and had no biological kids then I would be offended by the “real father” qualifier. I mean if you have any sort of positive influence in a kids life, then kudos to you.
Do you have issues with Father’s Day? Did you get something for your father? Save him the big piece of chicken? Are you a single mother and think you deserve some recognition for Father’s Day? Are you one of the few that doesn’t have daddy issues???