I read an article on Huffington Post last night about how this woman refuses to live with a boyfriend until he proposes. She loves the freedom of living in her single girl house. The ability to have naked day everyday and things the way she wants them. If the dishes stay in the sink for a month, so what if the boyfriend doesn’t like it. It’s her house!
But then I started to think about all the couples I know that do live together before marriage. Some people say it’s so they can know what they’re getting into before the big day comes. Some are more logical and just use it as a way to save money since they spend all their time together anyway. May not be the most romantic way to go about things, but as Jeezy told us, it’s a recession.
I’ve read studies that couples who cohabitate before marriage have a higher chance of breaking up and not getting married. Maybe your mom was right when she said, “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”, but I see it as a “at least they didn’t spend money on a wedding and divorce two months later.” A lot of people like to know what they would be getting in to. I think others would rather ward off complacency and have something to look forward to as newlyweds.
All of these make sense for the most part.
I have a convoluted view on shacking up. I live with my boyfriend. But I refuse to join any funds. Or laundry. Matter of fact, we purposely found an apartment with two bathrooms and lots of closet space. I know in my brain that things fall apart (intentions shatter…) and I refuse to act married when it ain’t a ring on it. That’s the final frontier for me. Joining of funds is for married folks. I’m not a wifey. I’m not the misses. I don’t front like we share a last name. We don’t co-sign for things. We borrow money from each other and pay it back in a timely fashion. I watch Judge Judy! I live in Texas. Not trying to end up accidental common law (soooo sounds like a RomCom!).
But I think our arrangement works for us. Because we didn’t really have any unrealistic preconceptions. I’ve read of some women waking up and going to put on makeup before their husband wakes up so. No. I sleep with a scarf and a turban thingy and I don’t care how cute it is in the morning. I have a bad habit of leaving clothes in the dryer days after they are done. My dog is senile. That’s just how it will be. Granted I do make some compromises for the sanity of my household (and safety of my makeup since it was threatened to be tossed in the toilet for infringing on counter space) but that’s just how relationships work right?
Do you think people should cohabitate before marriage? Or wait until the big day to live together? Have you ever shacked up? Was it for better or for worse? Who wants to help with the screenplay for my new RomCom?!