Lust and Love

Got It Or Not, Are You Tricking?

I recently switched hairdressers.  I won’t go into too many details but suffice it to say, the price of my new do skyrocketed.  This is an issue because I get my hair cut frequently.  Although I’m not on the popular black woman gets her hair done every two weeks schedule, I’m in for a cut every six weeks.  The new price made me text my friends.

“I need some trickin ass dude to send me to get my hair did”.

This then started a very long conversation (thanks GroupChat!) about what is and what ain’t trickin and how much it takes to get certain stuff done.  Yes this is how women talk.  Men think there is a 3 month rule, but there is probably also a monetary reserve that will get you the drawers way sooner than 3 months.

Basically nobody knows.  It’s one of those street slang terms with no etymology.  From what I gather from the small amount of rap music I still listen to, trickin is the act of showering gifts on your lover or object of your affection, with little to no return on your investment.  And if any return is shown, it’s that of a sexual nature.

Is that right?

The word generally has a bad connotation.  Prostitutes turn tricks.  But in actuality the men approach the woman knowing good in hell well what they’re getting into.  It’s no trick.  Unless these prostitutes are pulling rabbits out of some places.  That’s never been on any HBO special I’ve ever seen (that’s where all my prostitute knowledge comes from).  They make the guy feel nice, they perform a service, they get paid, they send him on his way.  I suppose the real tricks come in during police stings but whatever.  Semantics.

And so the word made its way to the dating world.  Insinuating that women use their sexual prowess to coax money and gifts from unsuspecting men.   Without reiterating the misogynistic ways of our society, I’ll just go with that and say simply, is that not what dating is?

In the traditional sense of the word.  The process was a man saw a woman he was attracted to (most likely based purely off physical traits).  The man approached the woman in an attempt to get to know her.  Woman obliged and gave the man her number.  Man called and asked  the woman out for a date, typically a night out somewhere on the town, all in hopes to get to know her better, physically and personally.

Sometimes it’s a quick road.  Sometimes it takes a little coaxing.  A few more dinners.  A little more time put in.  Then a relationship forms and dies.  Or flourishes.  And runs its course.

Honestly I see nothing wrong with this.  Because I’m old fashioned.  I just think that’s how it works.  Like that’s just using what you got to get what you want (#RonnieHoQuotes).  But then T.I. is all “it ain’t tricking if you got it” and he’s talking about buying fancy purses and stuff for his girlfriend.  Why wouldn’t you?  How is that a bad thing?  The majority of people know what they’re getting into when it comes to this stuff.  There aren’t that many Bernie Madoff’s of relationships.  And if you get what you want in return, ass or cash, where is the trick?!

What is your definition of tricking?  Is it tricking if you got it?  Women, do you have a monetary reserve on the cookie? What is dating if there are no transactions of affection and gifts?  Who knew I was such a prostitute sympathizer?  Have you ever been Bernie Maddoff’d in a relationship? #ponzi.  But for real, what I gotta do to get my hair did and not pay for it myself?



4 thoughts on “Got It Or Not, Are You Tricking?

  1. In my eyes, “tricking” is when a guy goes beyond his means to provide for a total stranger. So skipping out on your bills to buy a name brand purse for a lady he just met at the club would be considering “tricking.”

    Also, even if you’re a millionaire, buying a lavish and expensive gift for a total stranger in hopes of getting physically intimate is tricking. It’s just a bad move on the guys part because he’s going to expect some ass due to the high cost of the gift he provided and the it’ll be bad for the girl to accept if she truly doesn’t plan on giving up the ass. That’s how stalking and rape cases begin.

  2. I agree with antsthoughts. But, if you’re a dude (or girl, I guess) trying to get the drawls…it ain’t tricking…that’s just life (like you said). Also…when you find out how to get a dude to pay for your hair to get cut/done…let me know. I’m looking for the same type of services. lmao. Oh! And theres definitely a monetary reserve…

  3. Pingback: The Romantic Fairytale Can Soon Turn Into Our Own Nightmare « From Ashy to Classy

  4. The only instance where one is not tricking is if that’s your lady. Buying gifts with the hopes of getting or keeping some ass around is tricking. Whether you pulling in 8 figures or you making $8.00 an hour, its all the same. No shade throwing tho…tricks can make life easier for a reggla ass n word such as myself

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