My boyfriend has these elaborate dreams where he wins the lotto and spends the money responsibly. Like goes and buys a house in Memorial or opens his restaurant and franchises me a Starbucks that I can manage (and probably simultaneously put out of business with all the free drinks I consume. I’m the manager. Who’s gonna stop me?). Then his businesses make money and we get a nanny and the kid learns Spanish. Ok that’s nice but I can’t come up with something that elaborate when I’m awake, let alone unconscious.
Let’s say I won $10 million. That’s not a bad chunk of change right? So I’d pay off any debt and buy a car and house and whatever. I’m sure there would be a list of people I’d kinda help some. And I think I would need an entourage (yeah! Oh yeah!) to go shopping and travel with and stuff. That would be great. I’d probably just take a leave of absence from work cause what else would I do after a few trips? Just spend money. No bueno.
But what if you won that crazy kinda money? Hundreds of millions where you can just pay people to stand in line and slap them. Don’t think that’s possible? Ask a co-worker or friend how much it would take for someone to just slap the shit out of them. They have a number. Start low. Like $100. They’d be like “hell no!” Then go “what about $1000”. They’d think about it. All “wait, slap me till I actually shit or just slap me real hard.”
“Just a real hard slap.”
“Just a slap and that’s it? $5000 cash or I gotta wait for Wells Fargo to clear it.”
They’d give you an answer. You might have to keep climbing but eventually you will have their price. Unless it’s Bella, but whatever.
I’m not saying I want to win the lotto just to slap people, but after a certain amount of money I would just do ridiculous things. I would hire Morgan Freeman to explain the universe to me (I’m mildly obsessed but highly fascinated with hisThrough The Wormhole series. Plus he’s never been younger than 52 so he knows everything). I would get Christopher Walken to read my tweets to me. I’d spend most of the day reading blogs and I wouldn’t quit blogging because I love it too bad.
But I wouldn’t be like “I meant to check in but the internet in Milan is soooo slow, you know what I mean?” because who would really know. That’s why I didn’t ever care to listen to Watch the Throne cause JayZ and Kanye are too rich for me to understand. Going gorillaz? What is he saying? What does that mean? And don’t tell me it’s provocative, they’re just making up some of that stuff.
I mean I’d donate to charities and communities and do some good mission stuff. I wouldn’t be so rich I wouldn’t carry a purse (I swear Beyonce doesn’t carry a purse), and need body guards. But I would come up with crazy stuff to do.
How much money would it take for you to lose your mind spending it? What would you do with $40 mil? $100 mil? A milly mil? How much for someone to slap you in the face? Remember that YouTube video of the chicks doing it for like concert tickets?!