Social media can be a relationship nail in the coffiner (new word). It never really kills a relationship. Most relationships that end over social media drama were more than likely to fail anyway, but FB or Twitter just sped up that process. I mean, what did you think was going to happen when you told your ex gf or late night creep that you “missed them”? Did you think it was cool to DM your last bf and let him know he gave you the goods the best? There are just some rules of engagement that must be employed in today’s world. With so many ways to communicate with people, there are just some things that should go unsaid, unless you really don’t care about your current relationship and the drama that ensues after you send a pic to your ex. You can only Biz Markie your significant other for so long before they stop believing it’s just a friend. Today I want to give those inevitably doomed relationships a few extra weeks of bliss. The following are a few rules regarding exes and social media.
1. Don’t Friend or follow your EX – If you are not cool with them in real life, to the point where you would be comfortable with your current main squeeze and your last squeeze being in the same room without one of them trying to squeeze the others head off, don’t be cool with them on social media sites. I know the allure of FB is that you can stalk keep up with people without having to communicate with them but it’s a trap! Don’t do, please don’t do it (my Drake hand is strong). What happens is you see an old pic from college or high school when you all were together, then you get all in your feelings and start getting all Carl Thomasy (emotional and ish). Next thing you know you send that Rakim, “it’s been a long time, I shouldn’t left you” message*. And that’s when ish gets real. ugly. I know that they may have funny tweets but resist the urge to follow them, cause when that DM comes through asking “how you doing” you know it’s in the Joey voice!!
If you follow number 1, the rest of this list doesn’t matter. But most of us think we are above the law and do what the F we feel like doing, when we feel like doing…cause We A BOSS!!! In the cause of you numskulls, here is the rest of the list
2. Don’t constantly communicate with EX’s – Say what’s up and keep it moving. Don’t forget that at one point you liked this person, spending time with them after a hiatus will like you put you back to the time when the feelings were Fresh like Manny B. When you are catching up with old flames its like the courting phase all over again, you get all the good stuff. Next thing you know, you validating Match. Com commercial’s claim that 1 in 5 relationships start online. What they don’t mention is that 2 out of 3 relationships end because of online behavior.
If, you pay attention to number two on the list, the following information is useless. But, most of us like to keep it real, even though Ant let ya’ll ninjas know that keeping it real can wrong, real fast. In my effort to decrease ratchetness in this world, this last tip is for those that like to play with fire.
3. If you gotsta communicate with an EX via social media, don’t talk about relationships…past or present. See what happens is, she started talking about how unhappy she was at home and how she wished things could be different, but she got to stay for the kids. Then you start getting all Carl Thomasy (wish I never met her) again. It’s inevitable that it will happen. Or you try to flirt on a DM and she tells you she gotta man. The natural reactions of any playa worth his salt is to Positive K the yamp and insist that matters of that nature are of little consequence to the Playa President. When you talk about relationships with an ex, you all will more than likely talk about the relationship between the two of you. Lord forbid it ended on a good note, you know it’s. about. to. go. down. Just avoid the drama of hurting your current boo by reliving what you and last boo had (and failed at) by following rule number 1 and everyone will be better for it.
What do you guys think, is it okay to talk with exes on social media? If so are there rules of engagement one should follow? Is there an album that makes cheating cooler than Confessions? Is there something you would add to this list?
Love, Peace, and Nappiness,
Smoke The Ghetto Profit
P.S. I was really jamming when I wrote this one, here is the soundtrack to this blog: Jay-Z – Prelude (from Kingdom Come), Positive K – I gotta man, Biz Markie – Just a Friend, Dogg Pound – Do What I Feel, Rakim – I Know You Got Soul, Aaliyah – Try Again, Carl Thomas – Emotional, Biggie – One More Chance, Carl Thomas – I Wish ( I never met her), Jay-Z ft. Pharrell – Give it to Me, Kanye & Jay-Z – Otis, Meek Mill ft. Rick Ross – I’m a Boss, Drake – Headlines)