The thoughts contained within the Pandoras Box Blog came across as sincere, authentic, and truly rooted in hope and encouragement. It’s funny that you addressed some of the woes that currently afflict healthy relationships because I was interviewing a fellow just the other day; he addressed some issues that he was having when trying to help men find a suitable companion. He was struggling with his desire to remain true to himself and being overwhelmed with the sense of “changing his style” after seeing the pathetic. albeit massive success, that today’s man had when speaking the love language of this new “independent”, if you will, woman. So, Pandora I will seek to offer one man’s perspective, not to insinuate that he speaks for me or all men, but one man who once held the eye of plenty and now is spoken of as mere folklore.
This distinguished gentleman said he was once the “wingman” of knights and noblemen. He taught them in the areas of courtesy, generosity, and valor. When they entered the room together, while he was along side these great men, he was never overlooked and often came highly regarded and highly praised from other men as well as, most importantly, ever woman they encountered. He was smooth, genuine, while yet modest and true. When I asked him what changed, he simply smiled kicked his feet up and responded, “I’m not sure”.
He talks of a day where women respected themselves. They mastered the art of being sexy and alluring without undressing on the first night or making the first move. They were not prostituting themselves on twitter or capitalizing on tricks they learned with the self made “ASS CLAPPING” videos they star in. The women he knew, knew their worth and relished the chase. They understood the courting came with boundaries and understood making their “Knight in Shining Armor” wait with baited breath at their every whim. These women had class, true beauty both inside and out, and their awareness of who they were, captivated these young knights and deeply impressed my transparent “interviewee”.
So I looked him straight in the eye and asked, “What needs to change?”
The older gentleman stopped rocking in his chair, sat up straight and looked in my eyes with a paralyzing glare and simply said, “WOMEN NEED TO CHANGE…SO THAT THE MEN PURSUING THEM HAVE TO.” He said that everyone wants to focus on the men with their skinny jeans, sagging below their butt. They want to focus on the appearance of cowardice when men text and approach them on social networking and dating sites (even though this is where most women spend their time checking for and on men). He said that women have forgotten that they dictate the flow of every relationship they are in. They can’t seem to separate the reality of what it takes to make a relationship work and the idealism of what they would like THEIR relationship to represent. Simply put he said with all sincerity, “TODAY’S MEN ARE NOT WHAT THEY USED TO BE, BECAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE TO BE”.
After making this statement, the old man went back to rocking in his chair and said, “so when today’s women is approached by a guy that I have trained and molded like the knight’s of old, THEY DON’T WANT THEM because they aren’t “tough” enough; or they say, because THEY HAVE ACHIEVED more in education and professionally than the women before them, “if he doesn’t have a degree and ain’t bringing more than me to the table, I can’t fool with him”. He said that those women have missed the both. They have forgotten that they were created to be along side their mate and not in front of him, challenge him, love him, support him… all while handling their business too. “But at the end of the day, ” he said, “what do I know….today’s woman says that I’M DEAD….but in reality, they have CHOSEN to SETTLE instead of waiting for me to arrive with the man of their hearts desire.”
I thanked CHIVALRY for his time and encouraged him to keep training, molding and guiding those who were willing to endure. We both acknowledged that they were a dying breed, but we also agreed that if women took more ownership of their decision making and started holding men accountable to realistic standards and not mainstream media, maybe we start to see a change.
Until Next Time…Caesar