Media Madness / Random, Just Read It! / Social Experiments

5 Reasons Why Matt Christiano is an Idiot


So I’ve been trying not to pass judgement on this Matt Christiano guy, but they keep playing the commercial again and again.  I know there are way more important topics out there in the world to be discussed but I can’t help it.  It’s getting on my everlasting nerve.

Let me paint you a picture, the commercial begins with a group of friends taking a road trip. They are going on this trip because Taco Bell released a new Supreme taco with a shell made out of a huge Dorito. Unfortunately, they didn’t release this new product in their area – hence the road trip. They drive over 900 miles just to taste it.  Then comes the cheesy (see what I did?) voiceover “Last year, Taco Bell released the Taco Supreme made with a shell made of real Nacho Cheese Doritos in a few cities – none of which were anywhere near the hometown of Matt Christiano. So Matt drove his friends 965 miles to get it. Well played Matt. The new Doritos Locos Taco – now at Taco Bells everywhere. Sometimes you gotta Live Mas.”  And I understand that Taco Bell changed some facts to make the commercial lean in their favor, but still.

Well played?  That is so not well played Matt.

5. Wanna Race?

I love how they have their diversity quota in: a Hispanic guy, a white guy, an Asian guy, and of course the cute white girl. The real guy, “Nat” is a chubby white guy from NY by the way. This commercial was just a sleazy marketing gimmick to cater to the Hispanic/college student demographic.

4. For Here or To-Go?

In the commercial it shows Matt and his friends enjoying their spoils outside a Taco Bell.  If I drive or ride 1000 miles for some damn tacos, I be damned if I’m not getting out of the car and eating inside.  I mean you’ve been stuffed in the car 4-deep all this time and you don’t want space to enjoy your meal?

3.  My Hoopty Rollin…

I’m not sure if you noticed, Matt drove a bucket.  Old school Volvo station wagon.  The car looked to be on it’s last leg and the bright idea that Matt had was to use that last leg the car is on and push it 1000 miles to get some Taco Bell.  And what everybody fails to mention is that they STILL HAVE TO GET HOME!

2.  F*ck a Recession  

Spend hundreds in gas for gas?  Maybe I’m slightly biased here, but if a franchise has to make a commercial to tell people they use 100% beef in their tacos, it makes me suspicious.  I smell more than just farts, I smell a scandal.   Unless Matt’s car runs on smiles, I’m estimating a cost of $300 in gas to get Doritos Locos.  BOY STOP!

1.  Taco Hell

Regardless of the shell, it’s STILL an $.89 taco from Taco Bell at the end of the day.  In my opinion, Taco Bell is the ass crack of fast food.  I mean how are they still profitable without raising prices AND serving “real beef”?  Even McDonald’s changed their menu due to the economy.  Then on top of that, how many tacos do you buy to make the trip worth it?  You tell me.

Am I crazy for thinking that Matt (or Nat) is an idiot?  Would you round up your friends for any food that’s less than a dollar US?  How far would you drive for a specific meal?   

Thanks for tuning in…..

BROWNLEE

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35 thoughts on “5 Reasons Why Matt Christiano is an Idiot

  1. Gas is $3.941. Which means this fool spent $3,546.90 (MINIMUM) just to get a damn taco. For $25, you can go to the grocery store…buy Doritos, beef, shredded cheese, low fat sour cream, tomatoes and lettuce…AND MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN TACOS.

  2. I can’t stop laughing……… Apparently Matt (Nat) has money to blow (maybe his parents)……I put this in the category of “Things I will never understand” It’s like serial killings…. you don’t have that mind set so you will never understand. I agree with Vernon but that thought process is obviously some “Grown Folks thinking”. Let’s celebrate his stupidity by letting me holla at him so we can get free stuff also!!!!! (Tacos are always better when it’s not your money)

    • I cant do it, when I worked at a car dealer, they would buy Taco Bell for Saturday lunch every now and again and I’d do Whataburger or something. I’m going to also place it in the “Things I will never understand” category.

  3. Ive never driven 900+ miles in my life. But I’ve ridden that far, and let me tell you…that kind of drive is some bullshit and I wouldnt do it ever for anything off the taco bell menu. Not even if I was bored out of my mind and had money to blow. hell to the naw.

      • yeah. and I drive to westchase for pork tacos or spaghetti or chili, or those italian meat sammiches that I have yet to try, but…come on. all of the aforementioned is guaranteed deliciousness. taco bell though?! no deal.

        btw…next time you drive to the tre for some Frenchy’s…holla at me. I need to go too. lol.

  4. I have driven about 40 miles (or however far it is from San Marcos to Austin) for Krispy Kreme’s. Me and a few GREAT friends decided we wanted Krispy Kreme’s and that they had to be “Hot Now”, so we hopped in the ride at 2 am and sped down I-35 to wait for the “Hot Now” sign. It was one of the most memorable experiences of my time in college and it was worth the drive!! So 900 miles is out of the question, but SM to ATX is okay with me!

  5. I just saw this commercial on TV again and decided to see what other people thought about it. This post is hilarious.. And Vernon’s math may be a little fuzzy, but he’s on point. Why not just make some of this slop at home with some groceries from your nearest supermarket instead of driving over 900 miles for it. I actually like the commericial because it’s so unrealistic. IMO The best fast food commercial right now is the KFC Chicken Pot Pie with the two guys in that Charger playin the O’Jays!

  6. He must feel stupid now. He could have waited a little while and gotten the same thing at the local Taco Bell. Save a bunch of money on gas and not waste probably upwards of two days driving…

  7. You also have to count in money for a motel to stay overnight before the long drive back home. I know I wouldn’t want to be trapped in a car for 12 hours with people that just ate Taco Hell. Give me my window seat please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • It did really happen. Lol. Fucking idiot. The guy in the commercial was obviously an actor, but this actually happened in real life. Can’t read?

      • You couldn’t have just explained that Nat was the real guy? I was confused at who Nat was at first, but I get it now. I don’t understand why you’re calling me a “fucking idiot” but… Oh that’s right, it’s the internet so you can say what you what with no consequence. Unsolicited sarcasm and harsh language to a nice girl. Classy.

  8. Regarding point #1. They obviously are profiting because where else would people go after smoking a joint? Matt is obviously high the entire commercial! This is aimed at stoners (it’s worked too!)

  9. You know, I had the exact same thought & came to close to the same conclusion. Now, there may be food out there worth driving 1k for. But Taco Bell? come the fuck on, this isn’t demolition man & your food is shit. GG writerzblock, gg indeed

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