The other day I got one of those cornball emails asking me to list 5 Things I Couldn’t Live Without. You know the kind of email I’m talking about. Where it presents a hypothetical island life and you only have time to take five things with you. It asked my questions about what I would take for entertainment, companionship, etc. then proceeded to tell me that the people meant I was a certain type of person that thought a certain type of way. Yeah that trash. As I filled it out, while no one was looking, and was bewildered by its accuracy, I started to think about stuff we all could do without. Stuff that if it vanished off the face the universe tomorrow, the world would automatically be a better place. Here are a few of those things –
Women’s granny panties and men’s lucky drawz: Lord please help us with this foolishness. Ladies I’m not suggesting you wear a thong everyday but them granny panties (<–click here for the video) got to go. I don’t give a damn about coverage or support! And please don’t let me see them on yo head! Fellas stop with the Amen’s. We need to get rid of those He-Man drawz we’ve been wearing for good luck since the 9th grade. Or the boxers we wore when we played ball in school and won the state title. Give it up! If your boxers got more holes in them than box of fruit looops….saddown somewhere. Throw those things away…we can do without it!
The Game – I may catch a little heat for this one but its time someone tell the truth! After lobbying to get the show back on, didn’t you know it was doomed when Bamboozled Encouragement Television (BET) picked up the series? Maybe you still held out hope, but that had to leave when you heard Ray J’s Big Sister Moesha Brandy was joining the cast? I was never a huge fan but the show is beyond repair. The acting is bad, the writing is worse; it would be better if Tyler Perry took over the production……nah!! It’s time we recognize that the WB had it right….we can do without it.
Reverend’s Al Permton and Jesse Smackson – I understand what they have done for our community. I understand that they are the last living leaders of the civil rights era. What I don’t understand is why they still try to speak for a generation and culture they should be mentoring. There are plenty of young gifted and black voices ready to step up and lead with fresh legs, fresh ideas, and a voice that harkens to ear of our culture as it stands presently. Their recent reputations and representations have been less than stellar and really…..we can do without them.
King Bishop Eddie Long – did we forget the allegations and mirror pictures that quickly. What about the brash declaration that he had 5 smooth stones for his accusers and then hiding behind lawyers and a rumored multi-million dollar settlement in mediation? What about the video where he is crowned a king? Really this dude is making it tougher for leaders of mega churches to get respect in an environment that is already hypercritical. Men and women of the clothe have plenty of stigma’s to fight and it can be even tougher for successful black preachers, Lacefront Eddie doesn’t help the cause or the perception….we can do without him and his Jheri-Curl Lacefront!!
Trayvon’s mom with a twitter account: stop. It. NOW. I understand trademarking your son’s name and image so that people wont use it on flyers for the strip club or custom hoodies on eBay. But chill out tweeting. You have an ample platform to speak to the world. There is not a national outlet that would turn down an interview. We are behind you just do the right thing and you tweeting is something we can all do without.
Honorable Mentions: Student Loans, E-Thugs, Key and Peele, Real Thugs, the GOP, those extra long Flo Jo nails (especially on your toes)
Did I miss something? What are some things you wish would go away? Any beef with anything on the list?
Smoke The Ghetto Profit