I am a passive person. Nonchalant at times (probably to a fault) and generally indirect. Due to my non-confrontationalistic ways, I find myself in a lot of situations that are mildly uncomfortable and majorly annoying. If I could just work up the words or nerve or gumption or whatever to be a more direct person, I would probably find myself less likely to watch over people’s things as they spend 10 minutes in the restroom, or having my ear chatted off in the grocery store line listening to the most asinine stories of fellow Kroger shoppers.
Normally this makes me come across as a nice person. That’s because the thoughts in my head are only for me to hear. But these are brief encounters with people I’ll never see again (except for that checkout guy who blows kisses) so at worst I just lost a few minutes of time. But how does this passiveness work in a relationship type setting?!
A friend and I were discussing how to let someone off the hook without being a grade-A bitch to them.
Lots of people think that the best way to be with people is upfront, but I’m not sure how often that happens in real life. I’d love to tell people that I can see the glue on their lace front, or that maybe they shouldn’t have worn spandex…all spandex. I do like everyone else and whip out my phone to tweet about it instead.
Is that the best way to go? Thinking someone will get the hint when you cancel/reschedule dates? Or spend the entire time together on your phone. Or just meet up to get the good good and then go home? Cause that seems to be the way most people get it done. A gradual phase out until the unwanted party gets the hint and realizes you don’t want them around. If you’re lucky that might take a week or two. And if you’re unlucky you might end up picking outChinapatterns.
So what works for you? We all have been in situations where you don’t want to be around the other person any more. Do you just sit them down and straight up say “hey, I don’t want you around” or do you wait it out and hope you don’t ever have to meet their parents? And then if you just happen to bump into them again you deal with getting the cold shoulder. How does that go?
Let me know how the “It’s not you, it’s me” cliché has worked, if ever, or how you deal with getting people out of your way. I need to free up some time in my life to sit and blog!