What do the lonely doooo at… Valentines Day? I know I’m messing up a classic song but every now and then even classics have to take one for the team. Speaking of taking one for the team…it’s a lot of that going around right now. With Hershey’s second favorite holiday looming ninjas is being chose and ladies are grimacing through the process. You see it! The cat that has been trying to holla since cuffing season started is looking a little cuter right now; especially since you ain’t got no valentine (double negative like a mug). *grimace* And it ain’t just the ladies either. Fellas out here on that V. Thirstnhowl, III’s too! Around the crew we saying how we ain’t gon do this, that and the third; when low key we got dinner reservations for two and hoping like hell we get a response to that mass text invitation we sent.
It happens every year, it’s a condition called V. Thirstnhowl, III’s. Valentines brings out the Thirst n people will howl at 3rd options or worst! It is an epidemic that strikes fear in the hearts of people, no matter their degree or social status. As much as we joke about how people break up so they don’t have to buy a gift on Hallmark and DeBeers Day, you have just as many people wishing and hoping and thinking and praying for love. And don’t think it’s so much the love as the idea of being the outcast, the one without something showoff (as Caesar alluded to yesterday). It’s sad to see it happen though and it leads to hurt feelings and unmet expectations in the long run. I mean how do you explain to the one random chick, whose number you got while drunk at the strip club, that the mass text invitation you sent to anyone with a female name that wasn’t related to you that you really just didn’t want to waste your reservations. How do you tell her that you thought it was mutual and that tips were appreciated but not expected?
How do let ole buddy know the truth about what he already suspects but is suppressing because you finally gave him the time of day? How do you let him down easy on the 15th after the roses have started dying and your boo that broke up with you so he didn’t have to buy a gift is back in the picture? I’m jus sayin tho.
Times like these lead to a lot of “See what had happened was’” and number changes and fake deaths in the family. And before anyone thinks I’m poking fun or hating chill out. I know these things because I’m not only an observer I’m a player in the game. I don’t have a problem with Valentines Day, I have a problem with our brains on drugs I mean Valentines Day.
So for all my sufferers of V. Thirstnhowl, III’s out there…..be strong, be strategic and get your exit strategy ready! Most symptoms subside somewhere around the 15th or 16th of February, if you continue to exhibit any of the above symptoms beyond these dates you may have Thirstnhowl, III’s syndrome, which unfortunately has no cure.