Warning: this post might be sexy. Very sexy.
I saw on the news that Men’s Health recently released a list of the
100 Sexiest Women ever. They noted that the top was Brad Pitt’s (my all time sexiest man) ex, Jennifer Aniston, while his current significant other, Angelina Jolie, was ranked at a moderate number 10. They also noted that Marilyn Monroe was number 3 and Britney Spears was number 4. At this point I
knew this list was grade A trash.
As a woman I am granted the right to go on and on about another female’s beauty without coming across as even a little gay. We all know that a woman complimenting a woman is way higher than a man telling a woman anything (if you didn’t know consider this the thing you learned new today). I’ve had men compliment me on things from my haircut to how I’m filling out my jeans. I’m like “yeah thanks guy” and go about my business. But let a girl stop me and tell me that she really likes my glasses. That will spark a ten minute conversation if the time allows. It just means a little more for a woman to notice me. I don’t make the rules, I just know how this is how it goes.
Which brings me to this Men’s Fitness list. I have a big girl-crush on Jennifer Aniston (post-Friends). She’s hot (different from sexy). Pretty (very different from sexy). And seems to be pretty funny (not necessary to be sexy but helps. A lot. Ok it actually is required in my book). Acting skills are meh to decent. Meaning I can sit through one of her movies and not hate her afterwards. And she has nice legs (bonus points for sexy). So is Jennifer Anniston sexy? Hells yes (YES HOMO). Sexiest of all time? Of ALL TIME? I just can’t call it.
Here’s some of my favorites and where they rank on this list:
#96. Mila Kunis
#57. Pam Grier
#54. Jessica Alba
#38. Teri Hatcher
#35. Halle Berry
#22. Selma Hayek
Where is Jessica Biel?
Where is Charlize Theron?
Long ago, Bauski and I agreed that beauty is not in the eye of the beholder but in the eye of public opinion. Being bombared with the same pictures of people over and over sort of seeps into your brain and gives you ideas of sexy through osmosis. The media dictates what is sexy and what aint. There once was a time where the curvy woman was the most desirable all the way around. The romantic period painters would laugh at the idea of Paris Hilton being one of the sexiest women of all time (this list puts her at #46). And it doesn’t help that I know way too much about her hoo-haa and her personal life to deem her sexy but so be it. Maybe my criteria for sexy has too much to do with the personality, which is why I prefer Olivia Wilde over Megan Fox (plus did you not see the picture of Olivia?!) I really don’t know the criteria or who sat on the B.S. panel but whatever. I realize sexiness is relative and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I’m just not feeling the list.
Men, odds are your pick for sexiest woman isn’t on the list, and if she is, she ain’t high ranking. Who are some of the sexiest in your opinion? What makes someone sexy? Women, don’t act like you don’t have a girl crush. A few girls I know have a thing for Beyonce is #33 but I just was never that into her. I mean I get it, but she doesn’t “do it” for me. Who would you consider to be the sexiest woman? What is your system of determining sexy?
You can find the entire list of ridiculousness here.