Lust and Love / Media Madness

Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls

Warning: this post might be sexy. Very sexy.

I saw on the news that Men’s Health recently released a list of the
100 Sexiest Women ever.  They noted that the top was Brad Pitt’s (my all time sexiest man) ex, Jennifer Aniston, while his current significant other, Angelina Jolie, was ranked at a moderate number 10.  They also noted that Marilyn Monroe was number 3 and Britney Spears was number 4.  At this point I
knew this list was grade A trash.

As a woman I am granted the right to go on and on about another female’s beauty without coming across as even a little gay.  We all know that a woman complimenting a woman is way higher than a man telling a woman anything (if you didn’t know consider this the thing you learned new today).  I’ve had men compliment me on things from my haircut to how I’m filling out my jeans.  I’m like “yeah thanks guy” and go about my business.  But let a girl stop me and tell me that she really likes my glasses.  That will spark a ten minute conversation if the time allows.  It just means a little more for a woman to notice me.   I don’t make the rules, I just know how this is how it goes.

Which brings me to this Men’s Fitness list.  I have a big girl-crush on Jennifer Aniston (post-Friends).  She’s hot (different from sexy).  Pretty (very different from sexy).  And seems to be pretty funny (not necessary to be sexy but helps.  A lot.  Ok it actually is required in my book). Acting skills are meh to decent.  Meaning I can sit through one of her movies and not hate her afterwards.  And she has nice legs (bonus points for sexy).  So is Jennifer Anniston sexy?  Hells yes (YES HOMO).  Sexiest of all time? Of ALL TIME?  I just can’t call it.

Here’s some of my favorites and where they rank on this list:
#96. Mila Kunis
#57. Pam Grier
#54. Jessica Alba
#38. Teri Hatcher
#35. Halle Berry
#22. Selma Hayek

Where is Jessica Biel?

Where is Olivia Wilde?

Where is Nia Long?

Where is Charlize Theron?

Long ago, Bauski and I agreed that beauty is not in the eye of the beholder but in the eye of public opinion.  Being bombared with the same pictures of people over and over sort of seeps into your brain and gives you ideas of sexy through osmosis.  The media dictates what is sexy and what aint.  There once was a time where the curvy woman was the most desirable all the way around.  The romantic period painters would laugh at the idea of Paris Hilton being one of the sexiest women of all time (this list puts her at #46).  And it doesn’t help that I know way too much about her hoo-haa and her personal life to deem her sexy but so be it.  Maybe my criteria for sexy has too much to do with the personality, which is why I prefer Olivia Wilde over Megan Fox (plus did you not see the picture of Olivia?!) I really don’t know the criteria or who sat on the B.S. panel but whatever.  I realize sexiness is relative and everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  I’m just not feeling the list.

Men, odds are your pick for sexiest woman isn’t on the list, and if she is, she ain’t high ranking.  Who are some of the sexiest in your opinion?  What makes someone sexy?  Women, don’t act like you don’t have a girl crush. A few girls I know have a thing for Beyonce is #33 but I just was never that into her.  I mean I get it, but she doesn’t “do it” for me.  Who would you consider to be the sexiest woman?  What is your system of determining sexy?

You can find the entire list of ridiculousness here.

23 thoughts on “Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls

  1. I have a girl crush on Queen Bey for sure! I think it’s the in your face-ness (yup I made that up) of her sexiness. My number one girl crush is Jack Davey of the electronic-dance-soul phenomenon J*Davey. She’s bold, smart, gorgeous, and cusses like a sailor. Add in Aisha Tyler too! I think women find other women are sexy when they embody all the qualities they’d like to have!

    It’s funny because I can’t explain how i find men sexy in the same way. It’s just that something. He either has it or he doesn’t, see Javier Bardem. I’m trying to not use the word swagger now that it’s equated to pop-hop but I’m talking grown, I know I’m a man type of confidence. I find that really sexy.

  2. ^^^Love this^^^ and I totally agree with ALL of it! and to answer your question…

    Girl crush just for pretty sake (I can’t really assess her acting skills because her roles are always way too awful to fully judge)… but K.D. Aubert.

    Super girl crush (full homo) is for Kerry Washington (I’d motorboat that, I’d motorboat the hell out of it!!!). She is the entire package… looks, personality, spirit, genuineness, all around awesome! If my man cheated on me with her, I would get pissed that he didn’t invite me along.

    Girl crush in a quick 30 seconds is one on your list, Charlize Theron… she makes me want to wear all gold and repeatedly say J’adore for no reason at all.

    I know sexy when I just can’t stop looking, starring, admiring, laughing, and occasionally mimicking a lady. I can’t really define what sexy is though, just know it when it’s around.

  3. My major girl crush is Erykah Badu.. this is well documented and something very closely approaching homo-erotic, but I’m a girl, and the well established publicly upheld double standard supports my very close to lesbian love for Erykah Badu… she just does it for me, though her arrogance rubs me wrong from time to time, but what is lust without a little hate in it. It’s the way lust goes… I also find Jill Scott sexy, she’s curvy and natural and talented and beautiful and self effacing and confident. How can I not be attracted to that. I also think Mila Kunis and Rosamund Pike are achingly beautiful. I always had a thing for Scarlett Johanssen’s breast (me and most men in the world that receive a television signal)… Jennifer Aniston, sexiest woman EVER.. pishaw! I think Elizabeth Taylor, Diahann Carrol, Eartha Kitt, Nichelle Nichols, Ingrid Bergman, Eva Gardiner, Lena Horne, Dorothy Dandridge and countless others may have something to say to that…

  4. Great post Bre…i saw this list the other day to, seen the top 10 and threw up in my mouth a little. I just want to say that of the people you mentioned… I love Teri Hatcher even all the way back to Lois & Clark and she is definitely still a looker. Halle Berry was like my number 1 for 15 years straight. 22 for Selma Hayek is much to high, she is easily top 10 if not top 5 overall and Charlize Theron is smoking hot…mmmmm and Nia Long is a timeless beauty

    Others that I fancied recently are:

    Paula Patton- I know she has some strong facial features, but it’s not Angela Bassett or Tina Turner strong. She is gorgeous.

    Zoe Saldana

    Sofia Vergara- Definitely prefer her with dark hair over her natural blonde and her accent is very sexy.

    Rosalyn Sanchez-

    Hayden Panettiere

    Dania Ramirez- The chick from Heroes and X Men the Last Stand

    Tia Carrere- From Wayne’s World

    Yvonne Strahovski- The Actress from Chuck…

    Rachel Nichols- I know the nose is huge, but her fiery red hair is so sexy (i have a thing for red heads i think…yeah i pretty much do)

    Tracy Wolfson- Does all the nationally televised SEC college football games

    Erin Andrews

    Just to name a few

    I’m not sure i could define my definition of sexy, I just know it when i see it. I know it often extends beyond physical features, but sometimes those features alone are enough…really depends on the woman.

  5. Nia Long is something else. She just stay fine.

    I was suprised Josephine Baker didn’t make the list or Lena Horne (both timeless beauties)

    Sexy for me is about ENTT (ears, nose, throat, toes)

  6. For me, “pretty” is an adjective. She has a pretty face. That’s a pretty dress. Its good but nothing spectacular. Some faces are beautiful and that’s probably just because of science and symmetry and what not . Some people are “hot” which is purely based on their body. Someone can look just ok but have a hot body. But sexy IS. Someone is sexy because they are attractive and hot but a major major factor is personality. You have to have a great personality to make my sexy ranks.

  7. Excellent Post! Hmm, who’so n my sexy list? Let’s take a look:

    Tamala Jones – I don’t know why, but something about her attitude makes me go crazy. I used to have a thing for hood chicks, so maybe that’s why I still find her so sexy.

    Nia Long – I believe we’ve covered her in the comments above. But she’d get it on the jumbo tron during the Super Bowl with my Parents and Pastor watching.

    Stacey Dash – ……. sorry needed a moment there.

    Janet Jackson

    Amerie – Being a fellow blasian, it’s just right

    Skylar Diggans – She hoops and doesn’t look like a linebacker

    • this man said:

      “Nia Long – I believe we’ve covered her in the comments above. But she’d get it on the jumbo tron during the Super Bowl with my Parents and Pastor watching.”

      you have officially lost it Ant, you are certifiable.

      • For Nia Long, I’ll gladly take an extended stay at the crazy house. I’ll even put on my own straight-jacket. Not to mention Stacey Dash, she’s on the top of my list.

  8. Anybody that knows me, knows my TOP OF ALL-TIME is LisaRaye McCoy. Then comes Stacey Dash, Salma Hayek, Jessica Biel, Leah Remini, Esther Baxter, Vida Guerra, & Sofia Vergara could just lay naked and talk to me all night! I’m pretty sure not many of my ladies would make any magazine’s sexiest of all time list, unless the magazine is KING.

    I have been getting more partial to the non-black ladies lately, so Elisha Cuthbert, Mila Kunis, and Monica Raymund have shot up the list!

    I love women & neckbones!

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