There have been a lot of open letters popping up on the net recently. Open letters to Herman Cain, President Barack Obama, The Roots Band. Soooo I figured I would jump on the band wagon. I know I’m late, but this one is worth it. I recently read a blog post by Jimi Izrael, popular journalist and NPR host, entitled, “I am Amber Cole’s Father”. Please read the post (I didn’t want to republish it without his permission) BEFORE you read my letter. I don’t want to skew your perception of the writing.
Dear Jimi Izrael,
Sir your “I am Amber Cole’s Father” blog post is foolishness!! The premise of your argument is evidence of why so many young ladies are in Amber Cole’s situation. Since you put yourself in her father’s shoes, I am going to address you as such. I have a few questions for you. You say, “She would listen to her mother” why won’t she listen to you? Why don’t you have the relationship with her that gives you her ear and her respect? That’s YOUR fault, not her mom’s. Mom may have more time to be engaged if she didn’t have to work two jobs to make up for you not being there in the house to support YOUR family. She has to “empower” herself b/c you failed to give her the power and support that comes from making her your wife.
And how dare you give those boys a pass!! Boys will be boys huh, even when they are taping your daughter, that you love so much, giving a dude neck?! Please tell me that after reviewing this you realized how ignorant it sounded but needed the traffic. Let this had been my daughter. I would be letting the whole world know that when I got my hands on those boys, I was going to kill them!! I don’t give two sticks rubbed together to make a fire whose fault it is. Because unlike you I am an engaged father in the house with my KIDS and the embarrassment and hurt I would feel would not make me wax nostalgic about the boys I grew up with. Did I try to holler at girls and smash, sure I did. Did it ever occur to me to have my boys watch and video tape our sexual acts, HELL NO!
How do you “protect her and every woman in my life with my life.”? Seriously?! You are not willing to commit your life to your daughter or your baby momma. Where is your protection of their self value and worth? When a man is willing to make a baby with a woman and not stay around to raise the child, it sends a message to the woman and to the child, that neither of them is worth your time and therefore not important. That message had more to do with Amber Cole’s act than her mom being “empowered”.
Jimi, your post is a cowardly attempt at providing the male perspective and filled with sexist (your words not mine) attempts at blaming Amber’s mom and women in general for the predicaments they are in. I agree that there needs to be shared responsibility for this horrible act. The fact that you even mention the law keeping you from having the type of relationship you want with your daughter proves your cowardice. When you want to be a part of your kid’s life you get your Malcolm on and make it happen by any means necessary. Even if her mom is being a butt head, you be a PARENT and go out of your way and bend over backwards to make up for what mom is lacking. Because the kid didn’t ask to be here. Amber needs her ass beat, but then she needs a man to show her how to love (not Lil’ Wayne). A man to show her how she is to be treated by EXAMPLE, not just words. A man to show her that when a man truly loves you he is not just your daddy, but a husband. She needs a man to be a father, not a kool-aid check and weekend visits. This may have happened even with you there, but all we won’t know will we, because you weren’t there. I’m not saying it won’t happen to my daughter, but if it did, I’d likely be getting my Martin on and writing this letter jail. I am just disappointed in your effort to provide insight on how a father would feel in this situation. Everything about this post isn’t hogwash, but most of it is questionable at best! It gives men a pass and highlights women as the issue. Actually this might be a really good post, it is a piss poor example of what an engaged, involved father’s response would be, but maybe it is an accurate portrayal of what a lame dead beat dad might say when he finds his daughter in this situation.