Lust and Love / You Need Jesus

He Who Finds A Wife….


Good afternoon good people,

The Following is a PSA for all women who subscribe to the belief that “If a man wants to be with me, he has to pursue me.” Wait let me take this a step further…this PSA is specifically for all of the “God Fearing” women who love to use the scripture that “He who FINDS a wife, finds a good thing” as a means to justify their belief that the man needs to initiate all of the interactions if he is serious about being in a relationship with them. Okay…let me get to the actual PSA: Ladies (if you fall into the above criteria) STOP BELIEVING THAT… IT WILL LEAD YOU TO BEING ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!

Here’s is a brief study. *Missionary Baptist Preacher Voice* I am coming from the New King James Version of Proverbs, the 18th chapter and 22nd verse *takes a sip of water* the scripture reads, “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing…”

If we stop right there, then yes the indication would be that a man must find a woman, implying that a search must be conducted, and when he finds that woman (which in this particular verse the woman is not being portrayed as doing anything) he has indeed found a good thing. What i would like to present for the edification of others is the following:

1) Notice that this particular verse is #22, which if you have ever perused, let alone read in detail in biblical passage, you will know that chapters start with the #1. All 21 verses prior speak to the man dealing with himself. 9 verses speak to the benefits of controlling your mouth (what you say, how you say it, who you say it to), 7 verses deal with intentional actions that the man could take (things he should as well as things he shouldn’t do) and 5 of those verses deal with general beliefs or pieces of advice that the man should heed. In fact the two verses right before verse 22 speak directly to a man having exactly what comes out of his wife (I will touch on this significance in a second).

2) The rest of verse 22 (which people seldom read) says, “AND obtains favor from the Lord”. That conjunction AND signifies that the statement after is connected to the statement before it. The word FAVOR in this passage is the Hebrew word Rason which could mean a reaction of the superior to an inferior or has also siginified a position one enjoys before a superior who has favor on him and has also been used to communicate an voluntary decision; because this verse says it is favor from the Lord, it’s means that God has a favorable reaction to an individual who has put himself in position to please God. Now let’s go back to the conjunction. What exactly is God favorably disposed to in this verse? *rings bell* Ding, Ding, Ding…He is extended his favor to the man who has found a wife. That word FIND is the Hebrew word Masa which means  to find, meet or get. Now in this particular context, given all of the self-inventory work the man has had to do in the first 21 verses, the connotation of find in verse 22 is finding something one has sought in a spiritual or mental sense. Well why do you say that? Glad you asked?

3) When people recognize the value of taking self inventory of themselves, examining what they have done, said, etc. they find themselves in a position to make the necessary changes or build on those qualities that make will make or continue to make them successful in this life. For men, specifically dealing with women, it is the same idea. If i learn how to control my actions, i.e. doing the right thing when it comes to my dealing with others, making sure that i am a good steward of my time, money, resources, then I am becoming a responsible adult. When i learn how to control my mouth, so that instead of calling women B*thches and *oes, or talking about how i just want causal sex, or even saying I’m not ready to settle down, they soon learn that they will not be attracted to those women, those casual interactions, or those prideful feelings that often mask deep insecurities. They began to speak about the life they want, the relationship they desire, and most importantly, begin to openly describe the type of woman that God would want for them…thus causing his favor to shine on their interactions with the opposite sex.

After saying all that, i guess may i was wrong. You’re right ladies you don’t really have to do much. But  while you aren’t doing anything you’re probably attracting the type of man who is doing something…AND THAT MAY BE THE PROBLEM. Maybe the PSA should have been: Ladies Read Proverbs 31:10-31 and work on becoming that….and when your man does FIND you, he will indeed FIND A GOOD THING.

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5 thoughts on “He Who Finds A Wife….

  1. AGREE! I guess I have always viewed it as “He who finds a “wife”…… Not just any woman “A WIFE”, finds a good thing. She would need to be of wife material in order to be found. Not everyone is ready to be a wife and it take some preparation in order to get to that point. Once she has made wife status she will understand that pursing is not chasing…..

  2. I think this is cool in most cases but I think the dynamics of our society have changed the criteria somewhat. Due to the amount of women that are wife quality and the lack of cats out here trying to be a husband, don’t the women have to look a little bit? Just asking.

    • No i don’t think either need to be looking. That’s the whole point. And maybe the piece really ties to your connection to Christianity. If we seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, then all these things (our needs and desires) will be added to us (our lives). So when a man finds a wife it’s not because he was looking for her, but because he was seeking God; how God operates and in a way that would bring God glory. As a result, the favor of God shines upon that individual and considers it a good thing when he finds his wife…or vice versa. When a woman works on becoming the woman God has created her to be, it’s much easier for her to be found.

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