The Writerz Block is bringing Christmas to the internet early! We’re doing a “Featured Friday” guest blog on a Tuesday. One of our many followers chimed in and wanted her voice to be heard.
How do you move on if you can’t forgive? How do you forgive when it still hurts? How do you forgive someone that hurt you so bad? I have heard and thought all of these questions at one time or another. I think I have some of the answers now and of course I want to share them with you. Now I’m no doctor or licensed anything but I do have a little common sense so I just tried to be as realistic as possible about it. It’s all baby steps.
We have all been hurt at some point in our lives and yet we still go on. So, my first thought is “What doesn’t kill you means you are still alive”. This means that you have the ability to move on and that’s a good thing to keep in mind when going through something. If you don’t believe me stop reading and think about all of the unpleasant things that you have already gone through. *Waiting* Now notice how you are able to look back on those things? That means that you made it through all of that. If you looked back and you haven’t gone through anything then you might want to check your pulse. So you have the ability to move on now you have to choose to move on.
How do you begin to move on from something that was so devastatingly painful you may ask? Well for me it started with a prayer…… “Lord please guide me and don’t allow bitterness into my heart” Every morning I would pray this exact statement in my morning prayers because I wanted him to fully understand that this is what I desired. Then every time that I got sad about the situation I asked myself would I want to go back? Not back if things were different. Back to the same situation that I left and of course I said “No”. So, then why are you sad? Now that just makes too much sense but it’s so true. If it wasn’t bad then you would not have removed yourself from the situation. See I’m not saying that you won’t be sad or mad. I’m saying that you have to be the one to pull yourself out of it because only you can. You also have to realize that GOD sometimes makes things very uncomfortable for you because you are hesitant to move when he needs you to move. So you move but please believe HE has a plan already in place.
I then decided that I needed to surround myself with positive people and people that love me. I didn’t want to focus on the hurt I wanted to slowly replace it with love (joy) again. Submerge yourself into things that make you happy. Good feelings make the days go by so much easier. There is no need to dwell on the past because trust me it will always be with you. Wrap yourself in love. There’s this thing called unconditional love. Look at your family, friends, wives, husbands, or children and how they show you unconditional love. How love is really suppose to be. How they love you just they way you are flaws and all.
Finally you have to make the conscious decision to not let that event dictate who you are. You are not a failure because that situation didn’t work out. There are so many elements to every situation that it’s never just you. Your part varies depending on what happened. So stop punishing yourself for something that you never had total control over in the first place. Learn from what happened and how it played out. Make yourself a better person so that you will be better in the next event in your life. Be glad that you have a choice and don’t have to live your life like that. Who you are is just fine as long as you learn and keep striving to be a better person.
I’m saying all of this to say you can’t hold on to all of that hurt. It just doesn’t fit into what GOD has planned for your future. It weighs you down and makes you unapproachable. Don’t carry someone else’s baggage when you have a set of your own.
If it don’t fit, you must acquit!
Feel free to check out other blogs from E on her site: http://happyinthemidstofitall.blogspot.com/