Lust and Love / Media Madness

3 Things Basketball Wives Taught Me

that one in the middle is a genuis

Basketball Wives (BBW) gets a bad wrap (maybe…not really….sometimes….always).  If we are going to take something purely “intended for entertainment purposes only” and analyze it as a work depicting all that is wrong in womanhood, sports, and urban culture; we should at least analyze it fairly.  Call it the optimist in me but most things have a least a sliver of value.  Hell if nothing else BBW shows that even hoes can become housewives, chuuuch!! But that observation is like beauty, only on the surface, I want to go deeper.  Follow me to the depths:

1.  Being an ACTUAL WIFE of a ball player is TOUGH!:  This message is one I had to glean from the show, cause it ain’t exactly stated.  There are very few wives of ball players on this show but I know for a fact that there are pro ball players with WIVES.  Seeing the  bull ratchedness challenges presented on the show lets me know their marriages can be difficult.  I happen to know an ACTUAL WIFE of a current NBA player and she is constantly on the move.  Charity event here, club appearance there, team obligations, kids, work (she makes over 175k/yr – no gold digging), and on top of all that she is a wife!!  I’m not suggesting we throw a pity party, but consider this; on top of worrying about groupies for her husband, she also has to fight off her own pack of groupie, decline illicit offers from teammates & other players, and protect her husband from family and his entourage.  Everything that glitters ain’t gold.


2.  Gold Digging and Tricking should be college majors.  If J. Cole got “gangsta niggas lining up at the admissions office” just think of how this would increase enrollment!  These women have carefully crafted their image to fit the lifestyle ball players live.  The effort they put into their hair, make-up, clothes and shoes is only dwarfed by the effort they put in in the bedroom strategically aligning themselves with the people, places, and things in ball players’ circles.  It’s hard work to find where the team is staying, what club they are really going to, and then smashing knowing the right people to introduce you to said ball player.  I know a girl that was best friends with the Maître at every boutique hotel and W in her city so she could get the scoop.  She stay with a ball player (and sometimes somebody’s husband) on her arm.  The hoopers are working hard too!  Protecting your sperm assets when you know you’re a target is tough work, especially on your psyce.  Can you imagine what if feels like to know that nearly every woman, no every person that you encounter has a hidden agenda for you money!!?  And to get what you want you will likely have to acquiesce and play the game?  This stuff just looks easy on TV.  If these subjects were made college majors the ladies of BBW would be PhD candidates and the players are Deans of Multi-Cultural Tricking Affairs.

3. None of these Women are Stupid!  Say what you want about the book smarts of these ladies, but ain’t nar one of them dumb.  They got a hustla’s spirit homie period.  Why is it that we can applaud the man that came from the dope game to be a successful biddness man but we can’t salute these young ladies path to riches.  No one in these situations should be naïve enough to not be hip to the game.  They are simply employing one of the oldest traditions in the world, get in good with the people that got what you want.  How do you think empires and kingdoms were built and sustained?  It wasn’t by chance, it was by connecting with rich and powerful people so you could become or sustain your own wealth and power.  I’m willing to say in a time where sistas with PhD’s are complaining about a lack of worthy brothas to choose from, these basketball girlfriends got the game figure out pretty darn well. Most of these women know enough stats about players in the league to Stump the Schwab.  They may not know FT % but they know who has the next big endorsement deal lined up, who is in the doghouse with the coach, and who is on the trading block before any reporter on ESPN.  They understand the dynamics of what makes a relationship work….security!! They won’t date anyone that can’t sustain the lifestyle they want. And I don’t blame them.  Most marriages end over finances,  not being able to pay the bills is not sexy!  They may not have had successful relationships with their ball player but they are certainly profiting off the spoils of their failures.  So I guess it really is M.O.E.

In the end, Basketball Wives teach us a lot about relationships.  The thing is we may not like what we see.  It exposes a truth about relationships, motivation, and ultimately love.  I think maybe the BBW’s have got it right and we have it wrong.  Maybe we should persue relationships like business approach mergers.  Most companies get bought out for two reasons, they are a threat to the larger companies survival or they are the missing cog to a company’s shot at success.  What do you think? Do you think we can learn anything else from Basketball Wives?  Do you think they have the right concept in how they gauge men worthy of being in a relationship?


3 thoughts on “3 Things Basketball Wives Taught Me

  1. Never mind the example this show sets for the young women watching and the fact that reality shows are really a form of dramatization. Like my girl told me, most of the women on that show are bitter about life in general and need to take some serious time to do some self reflection.

    • See that’s what I’m talking bout. We are judging something meant purely for entertainment as something educational. Shouldn’t we take everything as a teachable moment? These women’s lives are not new, on the contrary, they have followed the advice given by momma’s across the world; “marry you a man with some money”. You don’t here people criticize soaps for the examples they set for young women or sex in the city or desperate housewives. Reality TV is not where we should look for examples! And last time I checked most folks have over 500 channels and this thing called a remote.

      • I don’t watch the TV show, “Basketball Wives,” but your blog is equating how modern-day black women should live their lives in accordance with the women from this show and how to gauge a man worthy of being in a relationship with.

        I’ve never spent much time wondering how to marry someone for money but I do worry about those who do because it wont’ last. But then again, chances are for a black woman to marry rich are slim to none because black wealth within this country isn’t all that great.

        And those women within the show, that you think other women should take notes from, are talking advantage of uneducated black males who doesn’t make responsible choices. The fact of the matter is that there’s a nasty culture among professional athletes, influenced mostly by the Hip Hop culture, that evolves around multiple sex partners, lack of educational achievements (esp within the NBA), and a lack of financial accountability.

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