Lust and Love

No Head?


I was reading my daily dose of blogs yesterday and I came across an article discussing Friends w/ Benefits (FwB) and exactly what type of benefits they get.  I like to read something with a little sizzle every now and then so I check the article out. I be damned if I didn’t read one of the most mind boggling things I have ever heard of in my life! I mean this ish is just absurd, IMO!  The question was, “should I give my FwB head?”!! WTF. Are you kidding me?  Now I’m no relationship expert like my boy Caesar and I’m certainly not as in tune with the female prospective as Brebut this ish here has got to stop!!  You mean to tell me that you have no qualms about letting a dude beat it up but you won’t put ya mouth on it!!

The argument was made that oral sex was more intimate than sex.  I want to met the woman that perfected that game, cause you know it wasn’t a brother that came up with that theory.  If you are in a FwB relationship you ain’t really worried about getting intimate.  That’s the whole point; to have a smash buddy w/o all the extra that comes along with a relationship.  FwB have one purpose and one purpose only, blowing out backs.  This ain’t no dinner at III Forks and a stay at Hotel Za Za type relationship, it’s a eat before we meet at HoJo type deal. You are pretty much throwing intimacy out the window and inviting freakdom in the front door when you become a FwB.  That being the case, how are you going to be a freak without licking the lollipop?  There is nothing intimate about the act of a BJ, it’s actually sort of crass when you think about it and if not for the proliferation of pornography, they likely wouldn’t be so popular.  But they are and if we just smashing you darn sure better be meeting the freak quotient.  Intercourse is one of the most intimate sexual things you can do, you are merging your body (and some say your souls) with your partner with the possibility of creating a life together…..THAT’S INTIMACY FOLKS (or at least it should be). 

One of the commenter’s of the post said she doesn’t “go down on FwB but expects them to go down on (her).” This is the type of ish that drives me from the window to the walls!  So basically what you are saying is your nookie is Sunshine that will make a married man call home and tell his wife he ain’t coming home no more, but if a dude is going to please you he’s got to go down low.  How arrogant of you?!  There should be no double standards in a FwB relationship and especially not when it comes to the sex. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.  Hell Bun B said, “I neva fcuk a hoe with out head no mo” and he is a professor at Rice so he’s got to be brilliant, so I’m gon’ roll with Bun.  Other commenter’s said it’s a trust factor.  Really?  You trust him enough to let him participate in a an activity that could potentially create life but not enough to tell you when he is about to cum?  Let me stop.  What’s your perspective? Is oral sex more intimate than traditional intercourse?  Does it take more trust to perform oral?

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13 thoughts on “No Head?

  1. what people do in their bedroom is their own beeswax, but i would assume no holds barred in a FwB situation. i mean if dude is ok with only giving not receiving then ol girl is on that charlie sheen, but it’s for the two of them to decide what will and won’t stand.

    i would assume hand holding and kissing would be off limits before head. that’s more of the intimacy realm to me (myself, personally), and i would be very cautious before doing that with a FwB. but i can’t speak for everyone, that’s just my own thing.

    • ^^^^^Women that get’s it (I stole that one from you Bre)

      “i would assume hand holding and kissing would be off limits before head. that’s more of the intimacy realm to me (myself, personally), and i would be very cautious before doing that with a FwB. but i can’t speak for everyone, that’s just my own thing.”

      I agree with ya Bre, I’m not saying that anyone has to to anything. My question was the mentality behind the theory. if you got a FwB sex is not an intimate thing, its a physical release. Your holding hands thing makes sense because it woudl mean you all might be more than just FwB’s. the other stuff is just part of the physical release.

  2. Another title of this post could be “The Rise of Big Simping in a Modern Era”. I have no doubt the referenced commenter gets to receive with no corresponding return – her FwB is probably a simp! There’s so many lame-o’s out and about these days putting the p**** on a pedestal and treating squirrel ducks like 10s, it’s pretty easy to see. I’m retired from The Game but observe from a distance. It’s obvious fellas these days didn’t learn The Game from old heads rocking Dobbs hats and white cups full of E&J on a front stoop.

  3. There was once a wise man that said “Never kcuf a b*tch without head no mo”. Words to live by my fair men, words to live by.

    On another note, that Sunshine scene is one of my all-time favorites….”tell mommy I’m not coming home” then he sat there shaking his head in agreement of what he just accomplished! ROTFLMAO

  4. This is so funny to me. I don’t feel that “head” is more intimate than the act of sex itself. Intimacy is in the feelings not in the act. If you are in love you will still be smashing. It’s just smashing with feelings. If you are going to let him smash then you must trust him on some level so why not give him a speech? I believe that you wanting him to go down on you but you won’t do the same for him is selfish on one hand. On the other if you can get the clown (he is obviously a clown) to do that then more power to you! Having a FwB will be unique to each couple. You make the rules you want for your situation but that’s doesn’t mean that the rest of the world will feel the same.

    GUYS: On another note she may not talked to the one-eyed snake right now but wait a minute…. She’ll catch feelings and next thing you know you will be giving her facial spa treatments every time you hook up.

    Women: When you feel like you will let him do whatever you said that you didn’t want to do it’s time to end it and get acquainted with your hand and toys……

  5. Oh I have to weigh in on this. I hear what you’re saying and I agree that it’s definitely questionable to take oral off the table in a casual sex arrangement.

    I don’t know what other women’s reasoning is for this, but for me it’s like this. In all situations I am extremely squeamish about what I put in my mouth. I don’t chew on pen caps, I do not believe in the 5 second rule, I don’t even bite my nails because God only knows what might be trapped under there that I can’t see.

    So for me to allow a condom-wrapped d!ck in the p*ssy is one thing, but for that to go into my mouth? That’s only reserved for people whose cleanliness I can 100% vouch for; and if it’s a FwB-type situation I’m not swearing by anything.

    • Yea but don’t you need to be able to vouch for their cleanliness b/f they smash. I mean a condom don’t stop dirt and nasty. I think that if i’m trusting you enough to have sex that’s a whole lotta trust. however, i have not been so thorough in my research for the girls I have just gotten a little top from. Maybe i don’t get it cause I’m a guy. We have been told our entire life that gettin the draws is the ultimate accomplishment.

      p.s. I feel a little like a groupie. I can’t believe you checked out the post AND commented!!! thanks!!

  6. If you’re gonna give somebody the business…do it right. Give em head. Get some head. Blow backs out. Move walls, etc., etc. I dont understand this selfish shi*t (on everyone’s part. b/c trust me…I know TONS of ninjas who swear going down south is like swimming in Houston’s wastewater plant) when it comes to sex. Everyone’s in it to have a good time…so let that be the end result (in the form of multiple orgasms…lol) for all parties involved.

  7. Okay, let me say I am one of those women who don’t believe in topping off a dude i am just casually fcuking because the gift of me actually wrapping my juicy lips around a man’s peen is something ONLY my BF/Fiancee/Hubby gets. I do not ask or expect to get my box kissed either, but they always do on their own accord.

  8. How the fuck is head more intimate? If you’ve done it or seen it done, it’s the most awkward, train wreck looking thing ever. lol. That post should have been lit up by readers.

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