The following message should be read in your best Marco Spoon Voice, thank you.
Do you remember the time, when you feel in love? Do you remember the time when you first met your boo-thang? Do you remember the days when cats used to make mixed CD’s to tell you how they felt? Ladies and gentlemen those times are upon us again. Some people like to call the coming months cuffing season. I like to call it fat boi season, the time we come back in style cause we got a little extra just in case you ever need it. It’s time to find you a snuggle bunny and if you already got one even better. But there are two things you need to complete your cuffing season supply list; The GJLMP and Hot CoCoa!
I’m not gon tell you how to get a snuggle buddy, my friends over at singleblackmale.org got that taken care of. I want to talk about the GJLMP and Hot CoCoa!
The GJLMP is the ultimate, let me take you there music collection. Inspired by one of very own bloggers, this mix tape is responsible for at least 25 babies in 4 different countries and countless episodes of Pooncin’! You see, GJLMP stands for Girl Just Let Me Poonce! I can’t tell you what pooncin is but get at my boy @narmeraha for the scoop! There is however one rule about pooncin that you must know:
You can Poonce without poking, but you damn sure can’t poke without a little Pooncin!
Now back to the GJLMP. this mix of music was carefully crafted to deliver a message. A message to GTD *Tommy voice*. Every song moving you closer to the scene in baby boy. It is a 2 disc set of our generations best love-making music complete with interludes and tempo changes. Best of all, it had a 99% success rate. If you put this CD on while studying with your homegirl, you were likely to be having that MJB hey lover hi friend convo the next morning. I’ve heard rumors about immaculate conception from girls that listened to CD by themselves. The GJLMP was so good it had to be retired! There are still cats in central Texas trying to get the complete track listing!! It was so successful because it took all the thinking out of the process and allowed your inner freak a release from its chains. Now I was never much of an R&B dude in my heyday, if I was handing out the goods it was probably some Wu-Tang Clan ain’t nuthin’ to F wit or MOP’s Ante Up in the background. But by all accounts The GJLMP was the truth truth and today, to equip you for cuffing season, I will be providing part of the track-listing.
This simple product is a staple for cuffing season. The wildest shit I’ve ever done with some of the finest women I’ve ever done it with have always been accompanied by….you guessed it Hot CoCoa! It’s something about the mixing and stirring and blowing that just sets the tone for a great evening. Watching the small marshmallows inflate and the large ones melt to create a beautiful Caramel swirl is the perfect subconscious prelude to blowing out your snuggle buddy’s back! Not to mention that chocolate is a natural aphrodisiac! During cuffing season, Hot CoCoa also becomes a code word for getting it in. Something you and boo-thang can use to talk about “it” in a normal conversation. I’ve done this before, with the people around me none the wiser. I mean folks was really talking bout how good hot cocoa was and how it made them feel when it was cold. Me and lady friend couldn’t stop laughing that for three semesters and even to this day folks still talkin bout our hot cocoa conversation with no clue about our little secret! I’ll stop here before I’m accused of posting erotica and get kicked off The Block!
GJLMP Track-Listing (partial, out of respect of the original being retired we can only give you so much)
- Cheers to you – Playa
- So Anxious – Ginuwine
- Meeting in My Bedroom – Silk
- 12 Play – R. Kelly
- If You – Silk
- Tempo Slow – R. Kelly
- Sex Down – Link
- Bump and Grind Remix – R. Kelly
- Seems Like You’re Ready – R. Kelly
- Creep Inn – Ideal
- Oh-Ah – Boyz II Men
- Freakin You – Jodeci
- Your Body’s Calling Remix – R. Kelly
- Beauty Remix – Dru Hill
- Really Want to Sex Your Body – R. Kelly
- Freak Me Baby – Jodeci
- Sex Me – R. Kelly
- Submerge – Maxwell
- Til’ the Cops Come Knockin’ – Maxwell
Know this, whether it’s a cut buddy or a snuggle buddy that’s holding you when it’s cold outside (or less than 80 degrees in TX), there are no two things more valuable during cuffing season than The GJLMP and Hot CoCoa. After reviewing the songs on the GJLMP what other songs are essential for cuffing season and supplies should we stock up on to make the Hot CoCoa better? (see what I just did there?)
Smoke The Ghetto Profit