Media Madness

3 Conversations that need to DIE already!!


This past weekend, I attended the African American Leadership Conference at Texas State University – San Marcos. It’s always good to go back to your old stomping grounds and see that things are still going strong. It was good to see old friends and advisors still making an impact in lives of young people, just like they made and impact in mine. It was amazing to students tell me that my workshop made an impact on them or that the “the info was going to increase my leadership swag, for real my dude.” But the best experience for me was sitting in a workshop and hearing this, “I’m tired of talking about niggas and bitches! We been talking about that stuff for decades, can we move on?” – A. Curette, Jr. UT ResLife

Considering we just had a similar discussion here on The Block, I found it interesting to hear the tone of frustration in his voice. The tone of his voice was like the look on Tiger’s face when he heard his ex-wife was re-marrying…..her financial advisor!!  His comment/question made me think about the conversations we have in Black America that we really need to end.  Some of the conversations I am about to highlight take up way too much space and time in our communities.  The more we focus on these conversations, the less we focus on the real issues facing our community.  Without further ado, let’s review the conversations we need to STOP having in Black America:

Conversation 1:  Should we call each other nigger or bitch?

            Let’s put this conversation to rest please.  Whether we own the word or put a positive spin on it doesn’t matter.  Those two words are in the English vocab for the foreseeable future.  Hell, even Kreayshawn and Nasty-V have picked them up!  We cannot control what others chose to call us, unless it boss or employee.  Can we replace this conversation with one about entrepreneurship?  Let’s debate about whether we should try to build communities like Rosewood, Greenwood/Archer/Pine, and Black Wall Street or should we try to build businesses that service communities outside our own?

Conversation 2:  Where are all the Black Fathers?

            Stop, it!! We know where they are! They are either locked up, strung out, or making more babies….right? Wrong.  Black men are beginning to take care of their families and responsibilities, but we don’t hear about them.  Sometimes we can promote unwanted behavior by focusing on it too much, it’s called negative re-enforcement!  I am not suggesting we ignore the problem, let’s just stop talking about it and start doing something about it.  Can we replace this conversation with one about the rise of the black family?  Despite what you see and hear, there are a LOT of black families that are sticking together, raising kids, and building a legacy of consistency and love.  Let’s talk about how to promote the black family, support single parents, and enlighten our brother and sisters so they don’t turn to sex as a way of validation and acknowledgment of their adulthood.  Can we have a real dialogue about sex in the black church instead of just saying don’t do “it” or you will go to hell?

Conversation 3:  Where are Black leaders/churches?

            Really?  Are we still talking about Black leadership and what are the churches doing for the community?  Just because the leaders in the 50’s and 60’s were reverends, that doesn’t mean the leaders of our generations will be men and women of the cloth.  The leaders that we are looking for don’t exist, because we don’t want leadership, we want a savior, a cure all.  And it ain’t happening, #dontholdyourbreath.  The leadership we are looking for is in the mirror and on your Iphone.  There are some brilliant minds in the black blogosphere with wonderful suggestions on how we can pull ourselves up by our bootstraps.  There are great movements out here that young black people have started that impact the present and future of our communities everyday.  And there are plenty of churches out there grinding in the community, but because we all want to go to mega churches….let me stop.  Can we replace this conversation with one about what movement or cause we should focus on?  Let us debate about what issue in our community we should tackle first and let the debate be waged with our time and money instead of words.

Conversation 4:  Who is the greatest basketball player of all time?

            It’s Michael Jeffery Jordan.  No explanation needed.  Go play some where I’m busy!!

Seriously, its time to move on, move up, and move now (s/o to AALC).  We have to shift our thoughts from the fluff and move on to the substance.  While we are arguing about how churches don’t do enough for the community, other cultures are talking about how to get more legislation passed for federal funding for their kids to go to college.  While we seriously debate about who was better between Pac and Biggie, other cultures are debating the profitability of public space travel.  So my question to the block is what other conversations do we need to R.I.P in the black community?  And what conversations do we need to start having?  I’ll meet you in the comments section.

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8 thoughts on “3 Conversations that need to DIE already!!

  1. Great post my brother. The whole thing about “niggas” and “bitches” being negative or positive gets on my nerves. It’s time to decide whether to be offended or empowered by it and keep it moving. Stop straddling the fence.

    • What will deciding help us do? There will still be people that use the words in a negative manner. I just want to move on. If we focus on being business men/women and eventually being a Business, we won’t call other anything but “successful”

  2. I’m tired of hearing about the struggle of single parents (particularly mothers). As a parent I get that it’s hard sometimes, but what are you going to do…give up your responsibility to be the best parent you can be? And if that’s your option, then do it and shut up about it. Parenthood is hard for everyone who chooses to be parents and complaining ain’t go make it easier…and no you don’t get an award for taking care of YOUR kids…

    • What do you mean you won’t reward people for doing what they are supposed to do? in a world where so many supposedly fall short, shouldn’t people get some credit for handling their business?

  3. I’m also tired of still hearing about “the man” which has really masked itself in missed opportunities. Everything in life is not fair, equal, or considerate of your circumstances. If you want something you have to be intentional about what you are doing, strategic about who you partner with and willing to take some calculated risks. Luck is about preparation and timing….not about the systemic racism or discrimination in certain institutions or the mental oppression that still bounds a large majority in our community.

    • If we stop talking about the man, I vote that we replace thy convo with one about how to be a man. I was lucky to have cats around me with dads that I was able to glean wisdom from. W/o that would be freestyling even more than I am now.

  4. Pingback: We Have Lost Our Collective Minds!! : Misplaced Anger « The Writerz Block

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