Lust and Love

Don’t Be That Girl


I’ve said it on more than one occasion that the general rule is that most women don’t really like other women. They can be pretty catty towards one another. Pretty girls use their ugly girlfriends to make them look better. Ugly girls use their pretty girlfriends so they don’t have to be included in the pack of mud ducks bar hopping on the weekend. There’s always a competition to be the HBIC. One thing you can’t take away from women, however, is their belief that every single friend they have is a good looking, great catch.  Anyone who says otherwise is obviously no good and not fit to handle a woman of her caliber. Let’s explore why this is.

Every man on earth has had a conversation with a friend of the opposite sex who decided that he would be the perfect guy for her friend. And the first question that the man asks is some variation of “How does she look?” The woman will usually say either she’s really pretty/cute or simply, “she’s nice.” I know what the latter means, and that’s where the conversation ends. Even when a woman says her friend is pretty or cute, there’s a 50% chance that this will end up not being the case. Question: are women really that blinded by friendship to the point that they believe their group of friends looks like the cast of “Single Ladies” complete with not-so-Kelly Pitts?  Of course you can’t tell a woman that her friend unintentionally scares children on Halloween. They refuse to believe it, and the man ends up, once again, looking like the bad person.

No matter how you slice it, there’s no way the man comes out of this situation other than looking like a shallow pig. And I know that girls are taught from an early age that boys are mean, and they grow up and are taught that all men are dogs. Fine, we’re not perfect. Playas f*ck up.  I’m man enough to admit my faults. I’m shallow. My sarcasm switch is never off. I’m selfish. I’ve even heard that I can be an asshole every once in a while. I could go on, but you all get where I’m going. The thing is all of my friends know this about me, and I know a lot of their faults as well. So if I were to ever introduce a friend of mine to a woman that I was close to, I have a filter to sort out who I would even consider letting this happen with. I don’t think too many women have this filter. Because you may know that your friend is all kinds of f*cked up in the head, yet rarely will any of you admit this to one another. Even if a woman is good looking, successful, and volunteers on the weekend, that’s not a gauge of how she behaves in a relationship. People may say men don’t talk, but if one of my boys messes up in his relationship, it’s no problem for us to crack a few brews and discuss. And while women love to talk about their dysfunctional relationships, more often than not they’ll omit their own flaws and shortcomings.

So when you really think about it, a lot of women have no realistic way to assess why they continue to have one failed relationship after another, even though a mirror would probably help best in most situations. It’s like an endless cycle.  A woman’s inability to acknowledge her faults only leads people to see the tangible assets she can bring, but what about the intangibles? Word to Shane Battier. The next time a woman tells me that I should meet a friend of hers, the first question I’m going to ask is what  flaws does her friend have…well, after I ask what she looks like of course.


3 thoughts on “Don’t Be That Girl

  1. i don’t think it’s that women are blinded by friendship that they miss a friends faults. it’s more so that they are making a sales pitch and nobody leads a sales pitch with the faults. “yeah my friend keisha would be great for you except she snores and curses like a sailor and has a short attention span”. nothing i say after that would take the focus off her faults. if i tell you i have a friend that would be good for you it’s because i notice similiarities in your personality or you two could benefit from knowing each other.
    granted the better a persons personality is, the less you tend to focus on their looks. or maybe the girls have been friends so long you just don’t pay attention. it works the other way too. highly attractive people lose their luster when you find out what a dick they are.
    i just think its better to lead with the positive since so many people tend to focus on the negative anyway.

    • see it’s not so much about accentuating the negatives, it’s the fact that a woman would introduce me to this type of person in the first place. If one of my boys is a dog ass n-word, I would never intentionally hook him up with a close female friend. I just don’t think many women have the ability to see their friends in that kind of light.

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