Good Morning World,
Welcome back to The Block. It’s Trending Tuesday and I am your host J Caesar. After scrolling through my timeline last night it became apparent that this trending topic was on fire and it got me to thinking about the most famous #3Word phrase of all time….you know what it is, don’t you? I may be dating myself with this but, Stevie Wonder “Just Called” to say these #3Words and even Pre-Crack Whitney said these #3Words and she emphasized it with ALWAYS. Surely you know which words I am referring to now…? The most famous #3Words phrase of all time, for better or for worse; whether true or untrue is I Love You. Today I want to look at I love you specifically from a romantic relationship standpoint because I believe that what we often want to say is “I Love You” but what we ought to be saying is something else.
I love you; #3Words that have stood the test of time. See, when you are having a bad day, these #3Words can completely turn your frown upside down. When you are leaving that special someone for a period of time, whether it be brief or extended, these #3Words provide a extra bit of comfort while they anxiously await your return. In the heat of passion these #3Words often solidify a deeper connection between two people. However, when you look in the mirror ask yourself how many times you have used this #3Word phrase and see if it could be connected to a few of the sweet sentiments I just listed. I don’t know about you, but there have been times where I said I love you, and I meant something completely different from what the person hearing that #3Word phrase understood. I mean honest and truly I have seen “I Love You” used in relationships to con a person out of their draws. I have heard “I Love You” used in an effort to save them from the embarrassment of getting called out in front of a bunch of people when they know they screwed up in their relationship. I have even heard “I Love You” used, by one person, on more than one occasion, to multiple people. Amazingly, and this happens more often than I even thought in relationships, people say “I Love You”, JUST because their significant other looked them square between their eyes, held their hand, whispered softly…and said it first to them. They didn’t want to say I love you back, but they felt compelled, obligated, and as a result…FLAT OUT LIED TO THEM. In an effort to keep us from continuing to lie to ourselves and others, I will identify the following #3Word phrases to better communicate what you should be saying; instead of saying “I Love You.”
#ILikeYou- Ladies this one is especially important for you. When a guy is obviously into you, does all that he can for you without expecting anything in return, is always available when you are having crisis, or simply does everything short of proposing marriage to you as soon as you come out of your relationships….. Don’t say “I love you” to him. Say things like “I like You” “I appreciate you” you’re “Like My Brother” He may not get it at first, but if you say something similar to those #3Words above, you will probably avoid being stalked. If all you have and think you will ever have are friendly thoughts and feelings toward another person, just say I like you. Even if you do love them, you will never be able to get them to see the difference.
#ILustYou- Be honest now. There are those of us who either have felt pressure to say “I love you” even though the love that was felt was really lust. I mean as soon as you conquered or in the event that the physical aspect of your relationship has clearly become elusive…watch how that quickly “love” fades. While I’m not advocating that we should go around lusting after each other, I am saying that we should call it what it is. If your feelings are directly connected to your desire to ONLY be physically intimate with someone else THAT’S NOT LOVE…its lust. In fact, dudes, if you think you are incapable of doing this practice with saying similar #3Word phrases like #LetMeHit instead of, after a few drinks, “I would really like to get to know you better.” Or in my best *Jennifer Hudson Voice* when you know it’s going to be #OneNightOnly when you put your clothes on knowing that you plan to forget that girl, don’t say anything even remotely close to “I Love You” regardless of what she says to you. I’m not saying those actions of hit and quit it, say what you need to in order to sleep with someone are right, but I am saying if that’s how you plan to get down, put all your cards on the table and let that person decide. It’s a real drama saver.
#INeedYou- Contrary to popular belief this #3Word phrase is not synonymous to I Love You. I need you implies an unhealthy form of clinging that really just becomes burdensome in a relationship. I need you can sound like this when you are out with the fellas, “When are you coming home” or after only being away from them an hour minutes you get a text message saying, “Why haven’t you called me.” When you realize that you should no longer be in a relationship with this person and you tell them that and they respond with, “But “I love You” what they are really saying is “I need you” and it has less to do with you and more about them not wanting to be alone.
And just as a side bar…stop buying stuff on Valentine’s Day that has “I Love You” on it when that’s not what you really want to say. If that’s the only card or item they have, be creative, find something else, don’t buy anything at all…but NEVER EVER communicate a message you are not willing to stand behind.
I Love You should be a #3Word phrase that finds its meaning in sincere communication and intentional action that corresponds with that meaning. It is not for people who are not willing to travel the rough road of a committed relationship, because traveling that road will require some work from both people involved. I love you is not something you throw out there when someone else says it and it is definitely not a card you play when you want to satisfy your own personal desires. When using this special #3Words phrase, you should want to mean it and if you don’t, just wait until you do.
Has anyone else out there ever used “I Love You” when they really meant or wanted to say something else?” What did you mean and what did you say?